What Real Estate Agents Say Vs. What They Actually Mean

AKA why finding a new place is the worst thing ever.

1. What they say - “It’s really cozy!”

2. What they mean - “Approximately 1.3 people are able to fit in your apartment at any given time.”

3. What they say - “You won’t believe the size of the closets!”

4. What they mean - “You won’t believe this is legally allowed to be called a closet!”

5. What they say - “The natural light in here is fantastic.”

6. What they mean - “There aren’t any actual windows in here but lightbulbs count as natural, right?”

7. What they say - “Check out these original hardwood floors.”

8. What they mean - “You will definitely have to replace these original hardwood floors.”

9. What they say - “It’s got a really open floor plan.”

10. What they mean - “Please ignore the fact that there are no doors in this entire apartment.

11. What they say - “The home office is so convenient for work!”

12. What they mean - “There’s a crawl space under the stairs so idk, I guess you can put a computer there.”

13. What they say - “The views are to die for!”

14. What they mean - “You actually might die because that thing right outside the window is covered in fungus.”

15. What they say - “This place has tons of privacy.”

16. What they mean - “Your private functions will be on display to everyone.”

17. What they say - “This kitchen is a chef’s dream come true.”

18. What they mean - “This kitchen is a chef’s dream come true because you’ll definitely have to eat out every night.”

19. What they say - “You won’t believe how charming this cottage is!”

20. What they mean - “It hasn’t been updated since the 1970s.”

21. What they say - “You’ll have easy access to parking.”

22. What they mean - “After ten minutes of driving around the block, you’ll probably just try to cram your car wherever.

23. What they say - “With a little TLC, it will be perfect.”

24. What they mean - “There is no way you could make this house livable without an army of professionals and tens of thousands of dollars.”

25. What they say - “It’s got a great waterfront location.”

26. What they mean - “There’s water in front of you.”

27. What they say - “It’s just steps from plenty of amenities!”

Google Maps

28. What they mean - “You can totally still count miles in terms of steps, right?”

Google Maps

29. What they say - “There’s so much outdoor space it’s practically it’s own room.”

30. What they mean - “If you want to go outside, you’ll just have to stick your head out the window or something.”

31. What they say - “Don’t worry, we’ll find the perfect place soon!”

32. What they mean - “Just give up and accept this tiny hovel already.”

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