1.Searched real estate prices in cities you'd literally never even heard of before seeing them on TV.
2.Planned an entire gut renovation for a home in one of those cities that you not only don't own right now, but almost certainly never will own at any point in the future.
3.Screamed — and I mean that quite literally — at the television when the subject of the episode picks the house you thought was worst.
4.Fully imagined the couple in the episode getting a divorce and showing up in the "X months later" segment bitterly fighting over their assets — and felt a little bit giddy with schadenfreude.
5.Spent two minutes searching for paint cans you order online, just to prove the idiocy of those hunters who look at a hideously shaded wall and declare that they are forevermore physically incapable of living in that house.
6.Formed a disproportionately strong opinion in the great granite vs. quartz countertop showdown.
7.Seethed with jealousy at a couple with a multimillion-dollar budget even though their careers are something like "potato artisan" and "freelance Wikipedia updater but only for the person who is seventh in line to the Spanish throne."
8.Taken some mental measurements of your kitchen to determine if you'd be able to fit in an island (or expand your existing one, if you're far luckier than I am). Even if you literally never cook.
9.Solemnly stared at yourself in the mirror as you brushed your teeth over your pathetic single-sinked bathroom vanity and wondered where you went wrong in life that you don't have double sinks.
10.Oscillated between anger at couples who end up choosing homes hundreds of thousands of dollars above budget and anger at couples who immediately rule out a house for being even slightly over their max.
11.Absentmindedly picked at the fibers of any carpet lining your floors, subconsciously hoping that you will inadvertently remove it and reveal gleaming hardwood underneath.
12.Softly tapped your palm against that one wall in your home preventing a fully open concept, seeing if you can somehow intuit through touch alone whether removing it is structurally or financially feasible.
13.Wished you could just buy some of that spray foam insulation to play with, because it actually seems really fun? Like, intellectually you know it's not just a water hose filled with silly string, but what if it were?
14.Puzzled over where people keep their children and pets all day if they don't have a place to live yet. You're telling me you just arrived in Macau with your pup, Flooferina, and need to find a place stat, but first you were able to find a trusted dog sitter? JUST BRING HER ALONG, OK???
15.Cringed upon hearing, for the 40 millionth time, the exact same joke about how the woman in any given couple needs extra closet space for her shoes, so her husband better get used to putting his things in the hall closet!
16.Felt inordinately proud when watching an episode set in your hometown, and inordinately annoyed when they describe your hometown as the "suburb" of some big city even though it's located literally an hour and a half away.
17.Secretly agreed with one of the absurd must-haves on someone's list, even though you know logically how ridiculous it sounds.
18.Low-key judged your friends for their design choices every time you go over to hang out at their place. Or maybe overtly judged them for their design choices. You do you.
19.Inserted yourself into a conversation about real estate as the resident expert, even if you have absolutely no legitimate experience in the field.
21.Convinced yourself that the peeling trim in your dining room is actually a sign of "charm" rather than admitting to yourself that you just don't know how to fix it.
22.Ranked each and every iteration of the House Hunters franchise, from International to Family, and stood firm in your choices even when fellow HH lovers tried to argue with them.
23.And lied to yourself that you'd only watch one more episode before five hours later realizing you've fully melded with the couch cushion and won't be moving anytime soon. At least not while there are still House Hunters episodes airing.
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