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21 Reasons Why You Should Never Trust Children

With age comes wisdom, which explains why children have absolutely none of it.

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1. They can't be put in the same room as any sharp objects without some kind of disaster.

2. Most of them have absolutely no respect for the animal world (or the film Jurassic Park, for that matter).

4. They can't ride a damn bike without causing problems.

5. If you give them access to technology, they'll do everything in their power to destroy it.

6. If you ask them to clean the windows, this is what they do.

Have you ever heard of WINDEX, kid??

7. They can't even figure out how to enjoy a playground without messing everything up.

8. Instead of just making snowmen like normal people, they pull stuff like this.


9. When they "accidentally" spell words with some letters backwards, they know exactly what they're doing.

10. They have no idea how to drink from a can.

Wow, way to waste a perfectly good beverage, kid.

11. They try to force you to type out entire website URLs for no reason at all.

12. They care more about showing off their latest bead creations than they do about home security.

Leaving the keys in the door — a classic child sabotage.


13. They always make a mess of it when you ask them to help you move.

14. They screw up every single photo opportunity.

15. They've got no clue how to even load a dishwasher.

16. They'll never hesitate to say bad things about you behind your back.

17. Instead of learning in school, they totally slack off.

What kind of drug ring are these children running out of their poor teacher's classroom?

18. They can't even figure out how to open a kitchen cabinet.

19. They stick random stuff all over their faces with no qualms whatsoever.

20. They can't even pronounce basic terms like "stick."

21. And this is what happens when you leave them alone with an animal.

Item number three in this post has been updated.