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What Kim Jong Un Was Doing During His 40-Day Absence

You might have thought he disappeared, but he was actually pretty damn busy.

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He was spotted using a cane, leading some to speculate that his absence from the public eye was related to a leg injury.

But let's be real: He clearly just had more important plans than showing up to meetings and boring shit like that. Here is what he was definitely up to over the past month.

1. Searching for his previously unmentioned son Nemo.

P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney #WhereWasKimJongUn

Travis Lindsay@Trav_is_lindsayFollow

P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney #WhereWasKimJongUn

9:33 AM - 14 Oct 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

2. Filling in for Chris Pratt.

Guarding The Galaxy #WhereWasKimJongUn

3. Making sure he was the first person in North Korea to get the new iPhone.

Disappears for a month, comes back with a gammy leg? Clearly Kim Jong Un was queuing for an iPhone 6.

Jon Norris@Jn_NorrisFollow

Disappears for a month, comes back with a gammy leg? Clearly Kim Jong Un was queuing for an iPhone 6.

12:50 PM - 14 Oct 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

4. Working on his fitness.

I really want to hear that Kim Jong Un was in fat camp, and comes back into the public eye looking DROP DEAD SEXY

Kent Sanderson@MrKentSandersonFollow

I really want to hear that Kim Jong Un was in fat camp, and comes back into the public eye looking DROP DEAD SEXY

11:25 AM - 10 Oct 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

5. Or at the very least, just getting a lil' nip and tuck.

you think Kim Jong Un got gastric bypass or lap band or somethin'? He looks thinner. Maybe lipo?

BramHennen@TweetbrkFollow

you think Kim Jong Un got gastric bypass or lap band or somethin'? He looks thinner. Maybe lipo?

9:31 PM - 13 Oct 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

6. Finding ~the plane~ all on his own while simultaneously solving the Ebola crisis and leading peace talks with ISIS.

My prediction for this week's major news: MH370 lands in ISIS-held Iraq, carrying Kim Jong Un and his new Ebola cure

Hayes Brown@HayesBrownFollow

My prediction for this week's major news: MH370 lands in ISIS-held Iraq, carrying Kim Jong Un and his new Ebola cure

3:30 PM - 13 Oct 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

7. Hanging out with Kramer.

What if seinfeld today? Krame letting Kim Jong Un crash in his dresser

Seinfeld Current Day@Seinfeld2000Follow

What if seinfeld today?

Krame letting Kim Jong Un crash in his dresser

11:27 AM - 11 Oct 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

8. Hanging out with Goku and Gohan.

After a short adventure Kim Jong Un has finally collected all 7 Dragon Balls....

James Murray@Murray886Follow

After a short adventure Kim Jong Un has finally collected all 7 Dragon Balls....

10:57 AM - 14 Oct 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

9. Becoming a black belt so he can single-handedly defend his country from aggressors.

Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un returns from martial arts training and meditation atop Mount Paektu, to defend people against Japanese aggression

DPRK News Service@DPRK_NewsFollow

Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un returns from martial arts training and meditation atop Mount Paektu, to defend people against Japanese aggression

7:33 PM - 13 Oct 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

10. Patronizing the Pyongyang Olive Garden.

Can't believe Kim Jong-un was at an Olive Garden getting the most out of his all-you-can-eat pasta pass this whole time

samir mezrahi@samirFollow

Can't believe Kim Jong-un was at an Olive Garden getting the most out of his all-you-can-eat pasta pass this whole time

6:04 PM - 13 Oct 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

11. Just really ~emotionally~ connecting with the lives of former British royals.

- Long walks - Laughing - Weeping at sunsets - Violent mood swings - Gout - Getting in touch w his inner @KngHnryVIII #WhereWasKimJongUn

Henry Tudor@KngHnryVIIIFollow

- Long walks
- Laughing
- Weeping at sunsets
- Violent mood swings
- Gout
- Getting in touch w his inner @KngHnryVIII
#WhereWasKimJongUn

9:42 AM - 14 Oct 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

12. Just hanging out alone all moody-like and stuff.

Turns out Kim Jong-un was just upstairs playing tapes.

Patrick Strudwick@PatrickStrudFollow

Turns out Kim Jong-un was just upstairs playing tapes.

7:20 PM - 13 Oct 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

13. Catching up on his fave reality show.

#wherewaskimjongun watching the bake off

14. With Tish.

#WhereWasKimJongUn In his mum's car

15. In his secret candy factory.

Hope Kim Jong-un's building up to a Willy Wonka style forward roll.

Duncan Gates of Hell@Duncan_GatesFollow

Hope Kim Jong-un's building up to a Willy Wonka style forward roll.

11:04 AM - 14 Oct 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

16. Creating a super-cyborg version of himself.

At least we now know exactly how long it takes for North Korea to make a fully-operable robotic replica of Kim Jong-un.

HaveIGotNewsForYou@haveigotnewsFollow

At least we now know exactly how long it takes for North Korea to make a fully-operable robotic replica of Kim Jong-un.

3:35 AM - 14 Oct 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

17. Getting his cosplay on at New York Comic Con.

Attending NY Comic Con #WhereWasKimJongUn

18. Taking care of his enemies on World of Warcraft.

My secret wish is that Kim Jong Un was trying to get his Warlock to lvl 30.

Jon Weisnewski@sharkeatsmanFollow

My secret wish is that Kim Jong Un was trying to get his Warlock to lvl 30.

2:35 AM - 14 Oct 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

19. Accidentally oversleeping.

Don't worry guys, Kim just overslept... #WhereWasKimJongUn

I Am Zain@ZainIsTheBestFollow

Don't worry guys, Kim just overslept... #WhereWasKimJongUn

10:43 AM - 14 Oct 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

20. Trying to avoid spoilers like any good TV fan would.

#WhereWasKimJongUn Catching up on The Walking Dead before Season 5 began. He hates spoilers.

How It Works@HowItWorksmagFollow

#WhereWasKimJongUn Catching up on The Walking Dead before Season 5 began. He hates spoilers.

10:41 AM - 14 Oct 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

21. Hanging out with his BFF.

At Dennis Rodman's house #WhereWasKimJongUn

22. And using his new basketball skills to take down those damn Monstars once and for all.

#WhereWasKimJongUn helping Michael Jordan and bugs bunny defeat aliens at basketball

Daniel Coates@CliveDuskyFollow

#WhereWasKimJongUn helping Michael Jordan and bugs bunny defeat aliens at basketball

11:20 AM - 14 Oct 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

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