EDMAnything CountrySoft Smiles (https://open.spotify.com/user/12156537942/playlist/5IXo7GGhl0PG0kUTQiaUYE)Mariah CareyMusic is Too LoudShitty RapMy House - Flo RidaSingers are nothing but entertainers
Impressed Someone with Your Dance MovesBlackoutBroke SomethingAnything as Long as I didn't Get Written UpHooked Up with SomeoneAvoided a Certain Person that Wants to Hook Up with YouPlayed a Board Game5 Game Beer Pong Win Streak
Late Night Walks Through the CemeteryYelling in ArgumentsMinnesotaWomen's BasketballMaking Playlists for Lit Frat PartiesLosing in FifaWinningChest Day
I didn't come here to play no schoolAlready DeadPretty DecentFind Me in the LibraryCSOM ChillingBoned by Pre-MedSlowly DyingBoned by Math
J. CrewBC Issued Under Armour GearVansWhoever makes the Detroit vs. Everybody ShirtVineyard VinesLevi's JeansPatagoniaNike
Hard AlcoholXbox ControllersA Nearby ToiletPlastic BoobSolo CupsBad Boys in Afros PosterMommyFlannels
BJs (Ben & Jerry's)Coach's EggsTortillasBeer, Cuz I DrinkAnything but CarbsWhatever My Girlfriend Brings Me from LowerDouble Burger and FriesEggs
I'm Investing in a 401KEnough for Fancy DatesEnough to Get ByI have $175 on my T card because of PULSEI am Rich in HumorI have $4.03 in My Bank AccountI Actually Have a Job lolCheck daddy's bank account
I need friends to prankMove a Sleeping PersonTouch me and Daddy will sueShit in Someone's ShoesForce Someone to Sleep in the Communal BathroomMy Life's a PrankI'm too lazy to prankFlush Someone's Clothes Down the Toilet
Which 807 Thot Are You?
If you got Ben, chances are you have been mocked about your forehead size before. You come from Bumblefuck, MA and you’re somehow proud of it. You’ve never kissed a girl your own age. You will most likely need to shave your head for graduation because you made a bet you can’t live up to… if you graduate. You love working with high school kids which is very convenient because you peaked there.
No matter how hard your parents have tried, you still came out messed up. You always take off your shirt because you know if you keep it on you will make permanent pit stains (it’s happened twice already). You talk with much more confidence than you actually warrant and it is a surprise that you have made it this far without being punched out. Record holder for the longest drought in Boston College history, things seem to heading in a positive direction but most likely you will fail. Ball is life, but only if we are talking about women’s basketball and more specifically managing women’s basketball.
The most competitive man in the world, nothing gets you off more than a night of beating the CPU in 2k by 50 points, crushing some people in beer pong, blasting “My House” and finally passing out with a Ben & Jerry’s ice cream coma. Your favorite kind of wasted is white girl wasted and your future occupation is DJ for every Walsh 807 party from this year on. Caution: when drunk you will constantly high five people. If your DJ career doesn’t work out you also have a bright future as a business mogul, already successfully launching two “Connor” themed lines “Connor Comments” and “ConnorGrams.”
You are an old soul trapped in a large middle schooler’s body. Your ideal night consists of playing Sudoku and watching any Minnesota team play no matter how badly you are being beaten. Life is simple, you just need a couple friends, beer, and a lifelong partner that you met a year ago. Nothing is more exhilarating than lying reverse 69 style so you can sleep next to feet.
Or “eyebrows del diablo” as you are known to many, you are more than willing to take over the aux when it’s not being used. Like a reverse dog whistle, you are the only one who can enjoy listening to Lil Uzi Vert while the rest of the room’s ears bleed by the high-pitched noise. You look for every opportunity to mispronounce the word "tortillas." You would rather go face to face with death than with an RA because of the strong love you have for your ELP cult. Because this program is the source of your life energy, you get extremely protective sometimes when other roommates try to dance with the ELP freshman.
You’re a douche and you’re proud of it. Somehow your town places first in everything it has ever done. Like Lavar Ball, you could have gone D1 if the system didn’t screw you. You refer to everyone by their full names to prove you actually have friends. You claim it was a drunk mistake but did it again in the morning. Also: Vineyard Vines
It is such a coincidence that you’re from California because you’re both experience the same drought, unless we’re counting younger women. Your worst fear is finding your mattress in the hallway or being without Jack. When you’re not destroying property, biting flores, or flushing sweatshirts down the toilet you can almost be bearable.
You have two personalities. You’re either spending all your time at the library or you’re rolling on the floor blacked out off of three beers. When you’re not setting the curve in every one of your chem courses, you’re screaming incoherent sentences throughout the Walsh halls. You won’t die of diabetes with that no carb diet, but you will definitely die of cardiac arrest from all that bacon you eat. You love jumping into bush, but you love fighting bouncers at garage more.