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Which 807 Thot Are You?

Every wonder which one of the bodacious bachelors of 807 would be perfect for you (except Davis), well look no further!

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  1. Favorite Kind of Music?

    EDM
    Anything Country
    Soft Smiles (https://open.spotify.com/user/12156537942/playlist/5IXo7GGhl0PG0kUTQiaUYE)
    Mariah Carey
    Music is Too Loud
    Shitty Rap
    My House - Flo Rida
    Singers are nothing but entertainers
  2. Ideal Friday Night?

    Impressed Someone with Your Dance Moves
    Blackout
    Broke Something
    Anything as Long as I didn't Get Written Up
    Hooked Up with Someone
    Avoided a Certain Person that Wants to Hook Up with You
    Played a Board Game
    5 Game Beer Pong Win Streak
  3. Favorite Activity?

    Late Night Walks Through the Cemetery
    Yelling in Arguments
    Minnesota
    Women's Basketball
    Making Playlists for Lit Frat Parties
    Losing in Fifa
    Winning
    Chest Day
  4. How's School Going?

    I didn't come here to play no school
    Already Dead
    Pretty Decent
    Find Me in the Library
    CSOM Chilling
    Boned by Pre-Med
    Slowly Dying
    Boned by Math
  5. Favorite Brand?

    J. Crew
    BC Issued Under Armour Gear
    Vans
    Whoever makes the Detroit vs. Everybody Shirt
    Vineyard Vines
    Levi's Jeans
    Patagonia
    Nike
  6. Most Prized Possession?

    Hard Alcohol
    Xbox Controllers
    A Nearby Toilet
    Plastic Boob
    Solo Cups
    Bad Boys in Afros Poster
    Mommy
    Flannels
  7. Favorite Food?

    BJs (Ben & Jerry's)
    Coach's Eggs
    Tortillas
    Beer, Cuz I Drink
    Anything but Carbs
    Whatever My Girlfriend Brings Me from Lower
    Double Burger and Fries
    Eggs
  8. How Broke are You?

    I'm Investing in a 401K
    Enough for Fancy Dates
    Enough to Get By
    I have $175 on my T card because of PULSE
    I am Rich in Humor
    I have $4.03 in My Bank Account
    I Actually Have a Job lol
    Check daddy's bank account
  9. Pick a Prank

    I need friends to prank
    Move a Sleeping Person
    Touch me and Daddy will sue
    Shit in Someone's Shoes
    Force Someone to Sleep in the Communal Bathroom
    My Life's a Prank
    I'm too lazy to prank
    Flush Someone's Clothes Down the Toilet

Which 807 Thot Are You?

You got: Ben

If you got Ben, chances are you have been mocked about your forehead size before. You come from Bumblefuck, MA and you’re somehow proud of it. You’ve never kissed a girl your own age. You will most likely need to shave your head for graduation because you made a bet you can’t live up to… if you graduate. You love working with high school kids which is very convenient because you peaked there.

Ben
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You got: Coach

No matter how hard your parents have tried, you still came out messed up. You always take off your shirt because you know if you keep it on you will make permanent pit stains (it’s happened twice already). You talk with much more confidence than you actually warrant and it is a surprise that you have made it this far without being punched out. Record holder for the longest drought in Boston College history, things seem to heading in a positive direction but most likely you will fail. Ball is life, but only if we are talking about women’s basketball and more specifically managing women’s basketball.

Coach
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You got: Connor

The most competitive man in the world, nothing gets you off more than a night of beating the CPU in 2k by 50 points, crushing some people in beer pong, blasting “My House” and finally passing out with a Ben & Jerry’s ice cream coma. Your favorite kind of wasted is white girl wasted and your future occupation is DJ for every Walsh 807 party from this year on. Caution: when drunk you will constantly high five people. If your DJ career doesn’t work out you also have a bright future as a business mogul, already successfully launching two “Connor” themed lines “Connor Comments” and “ConnorGrams.”

Connor
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You got: Davis

You are an old soul trapped in a large middle schooler’s body. Your ideal night consists of playing Sudoku and watching any Minnesota team play no matter how badly you are being beaten. Life is simple, you just need a couple friends, beer, and a lifelong partner that you met a year ago. Nothing is more exhilarating than lying reverse 69 style so you can sleep next to feet.

Davis
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You got: Flores

Or “eyebrows del diablo” as you are known to many, you are more than willing to take over the aux when it’s not being used. Like a reverse dog whistle, you are the only one who can enjoy listening to Lil Uzi Vert while the rest of the room’s ears bleed by the high-pitched noise. You look for every opportunity to mispronounce the word "tortillas." You would rather go face to face with death than with an RA because of the strong love you have for your ELP cult. Because this program is the source of your life energy, you get extremely protective sometimes when other roommates try to dance with the ELP freshman.

Flores
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You got: Jack

You’re a douche and you’re proud of it. Somehow your town places first in everything it has ever done. Like Lavar Ball, you could have gone D1 if the system didn’t screw you. You refer to everyone by their full names to prove you actually have friends. You claim it was a drunk mistake but did it again in the morning. Also: Vineyard Vines

Jack
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You got: Jeff

It is such a coincidence that you’re from California because you’re both experience the same drought, unless we’re counting younger women. Your worst fear is finding your mattress in the hallway or being without Jack. When you’re not destroying property, biting flores, or flushing sweatshirts down the toilet you can almost be bearable.

Jeff
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You got: Stover

You have two personalities. You’re either spending all your time at the library or you’re rolling on the floor blacked out off of three beers. When you’re not setting the curve in every one of your chem courses, you’re screaming incoherent sentences throughout the Walsh halls. You won’t die of diabetes with that no carb diet, but you will definitely die of cardiac arrest from all that bacon you eat. You love jumping into bush, but you love fighting bouncers at garage more.

Stover
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