Skip To Content
    This post has not been vetted or endorsed by BuzzFeed's editorial staff. BuzzFeed Community is a place where anyone can create a post or quiz. Try making your own!

    20 Hilariously Weird Amazon Reviews Of Surge

    Surge has been resurrected and it's unanimous, we've been given a gift from the gods.

    In case you've been living under a rock and didn't hear (or are just massively uncool), Coca-Cola released Surge back on the market this week.

    "Surge Movement" Facebook Page / Via Facebook: surgemovement

    12-Packs have been selling out exclusively on Amazon for $14 a case. Naturally, soda connoisseurs and 90's enthusiasts everywhere lost. Their. Damn. Mind. It didn't take long before people started to share their story.

    1. JR Stands For No Regrets.


    I'm not even mad admitting I spent more than that.

    2. Paul "Can't Stop, Won't Stop" Winker.


    Paul's logic also extends to eating cereal for dinner. TELL MY MOM, WHATEVER. #CANTSTOPWONTSTOP

    3. This Rebel With A Reason To Celebrate.


    I think we can all agree that Major Bill would be a great addition to any party.

    4. The Jim Levenstein Of Sodas, Everybody.


    Apparently Surge can also be marketed as that father figure you never had...

    5. The Guy Who Said What Everyone Was Thinking.


    Seriously though. 3D Doritos. Now.

    6. This Future Business Tycoon.


    Anyone who didn't have to work for a living when this soda was popular empathizes with you, Joel.

    7. Surge, AKA Miracle Juice.


    This is absolute fact. Technically maybe not but otherwise, 100% truth.

    8. The Fixer Of Broken Homes.


    Guessing the first step to earning his love is to quit playing with bumpers, yeah?

    9. This Guy Who Saw The Light.


    And now we have the means to de-Bieber the US!

    10. Every Phone Call From September 15th, 2014.


    Todd speaks the truth, you can't pick Oddjob every time. Being a guest only goes so far.

    11. The Man Who Has His Priorities Straight.


    And also has two first names. #nojudgement

    12. This Rom-Com Coming To Theaters Soon.


    Can we get a hell yeah for Fruitopia?

    13. Big Willie Style Is Forever.


    Yeah, if you could send this random employee over to Frito-Lay and let him root around for the Cheetos Paws recipe, that'd be great.

    14. The Story Behind Why Marcia's Productivity Is Killer.

    15. Aron, The Dating Guru This Generation Needs.


    You do get older, they do stay the same age, but the prison time gets more severe. So there's that.

    16. Surge Succeeds Where D.A.R.E. Fails.


    So Daren The Lion is pretty much useless now.

    17. The Surgening.


    Somebody pitch this to Chris Hemsworth stat. He's needs some grittier roles.

    18. Marvel's New Story Line.


    Josh could join the Avengers and give Hawkeye the bromance he's been missing out on. #oddmanout

    19. Sincerely, Trapped In Suburbia.


    Somebody obviously took the blue pill.

    20. The Cheaper High.


    Exclusive dealer though...

    Create your own post!

    This post was created by a member of the BuzzFeed Community.You can join and make your own posts and quizzes.

    Sign up to create your first post!

    BuzzFeed Daily

    Keep up with the latest daily buzz with the BuzzFeed Daily newsletter!

    Newsletter signup form