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25 Hilariously Epic Ways To Ruin A Date

"AN ASTEROID?! I'LL BE RIGHT THERE!"

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4. Ditch your date and have the server tell them men in black suits escorted you out to the alley.

20th Century Fox / Via s586.photobucket.com

The trick is to drop hints that you're really into Scientology. It will click.

9. Steal someone’s wallet, give it back to them and blame it on your date, then slip out when the drama starts.

11. Spend the entire time on the phone with your mom bitching about how there are no viable dating prospects.

MTV / Via whatshouldtheatrecallme.tumblr.com

Or talking to another guy. Or taking selfies. Pretty much do anything on the phone the entire time.

23. Tell them stories from your childhood that are obviously classic movie plots.

20th Century Fox / Via giphy.com

One time my family went to France for Christmas. And they forgot me. And then these two bozos tried to rob my house. And I fucked them up good.

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