1.
*looks at Facebook event invite* ME: "I'd rather kill myself" *clicks on MAYBE ATTENDING*
2.
PROTIP: You don't even have to have anything playing in the headphones to get people to stop talking to you.
3.
me: i'm so lonely. why doesn't anyone ever ask to hang out?? me: *never replies to texts* *likes being alone*
4.
"No new friends." - Drake (but also me)
5.
People who think they can just show up to your house with no warning whatsoever have issues 🤔
6.
Yes of course I got your text - I'm just ignoring it. Don't make it weird.
7.
FRIEND: do u want to hang out this weekend ME: generic excuse FRIEND: did u just say "generic excuse"
8.
Really glad I woke up early so I can spend more time in bed on my phone
9.
The most spontaneous thing about me is my menstrual cycle.
10.
Friends: omg lets go out tonight me: okay I'm down Friends: we're outside me:
11.
leaving the house with 72% battery for a night out. BREATHE.
12.
I need three hours to get ready and two of those are me talking myself into getting ready
13.
I'm in a committed relationship with Do Not Disturb mode.
14.
just pretended to walk past the elevator so I could come back & get one all to myself
15.
me: new friendships sound kinda nice brain: ok but consider this................................ isolation me:
16.
I wrote you a song it's called "stop talking to me"
17.
When I was a teenager I always wanted to go out, I'd even sneak out of my parents' house. Now all I want is for friends to cancel plans.
18.
I believe in annoyed at first sight
19.
I'm terrible at responding to texts, emails, DMs, phone calls, voice messages, and birds carrying letters. I'm sorry please love me still.
20.
I really need to start answering my text messages as soon as I get them and not two weeks later 🙄😂
21.
wondering how i will ever mantain a successful relationship when there's nothing i value more than alone time