50 Quotes From "Superstore" That Are Bound To Make You Either Laugh Or Think

    "Must be terrifying to live in fear of spoilers."

    Superstore aired on NBC from November 2015 to March 2021. The show follows a group of employees working at "Cloud 9," store number 1217, a fictional big-box store in Missouri.

    Cloud 9 staff talking to Dina

    1. Jonah Simms: “I think it says something about our priorities that we spend so much money on pets when there are literally millions of children without adequate nutrition.”

    Emma, Amy, Jonah and Dina looking at each other

    2. Mateo Liwanag: “It’s just like my mom always said: 'If you don’t work hard, baby Jesus will cry.'”

    Jonah, Amy and Mateo in Halloween costumes

    3. Jonah Simms: “My point is there are people who do nothing and there are people who do something, and I am one of those people: the something group.”

    A scene from the series

    4. Amy Dubanowski: “You know, one second everything’s great, and then you step on some invisible land mine and you’re fighting. Boom!”

    Jonah and Amy smiling at each other

    5. Mateo Liwanag: “No, I was just trying to beat your story. Sorry, I’m competitive.”

    Jonah, Amy and Mateo standing behind a desk

    6. Jonah Simms: “If it makes you feel any better, I turned down sex with a hooker for you.”

    Jonah posing the camera

    7. Mateo Liwanag: “There are raises on the line. So sorry, not sorry. I’m not here to make friends.”

    A scene from the series

    8. Cheyenne Lee: “I want to show Bo. He’s never seen me in a video with clothes on.”

    Cheyenne sitting and starring into the camera

    9. Mateo Liwanag: “Look, I know you don’t want to hurt me, but not doing this is hurting me. So if you’re really my friend, please, beat the hell out of me.”

    Mateo and Cheyenne looking done

    10. Amy Dubanowski: “I’m going to unleash crazy Amy. You guys can call me 'Craymie.'”

    Amy sitting and smiling

    11. Mateo Liwanag: “I’ve been busting my butt trying to show you I’m a good worker, but you have your head so far up your own butt you haven’t noticed.”

    A scene from the movie

    12. Mateo Liwanag: “If we’re talking about truth bombs, well, take shelter, ’cause I’m about to make it rain.”

    Mateo and Amy looking at each other

    13. Dina Fox: “I’m a Christian, too, but in these four walls, my Bible is the employee code of conduct.”

    Dina looking up and smiling

    14. Amy Dubanowski: “Aaaah, da wittle panda finks he fought of somefing!”

    Amy and Jonah looking at each other

    15. Cheyenne Lee: “I can’t be a single mom. I have never even driven on the highway before. What if the baby needs to go downtown?”

    Cheyenne  in a princess costume

    16. Amy Dubanowski: “We can’t just live our lives afraid to offend someone. I think that we, you know, as a society, we need to just lighten up a little bit.”

    Amy opening her hands

    17. Jonah Simms: “He looks like a panda and a Disney princess had a baby.”

    The cast members destroying a gift roulette mention

    18. Amy Dubanowski: "Tomorrow is just gonna be just like today, and I know that because today is just like yesterday."

    Jonah and Amy looking away from each other

    19. Dina Fox: “Some people like to hunt elk or deer. I hunt people. And your head is going on my wall.”

    Dina and a man looking down

    20. Dina Fox: “The idea of carrying your child makes me wanna put a bullet through my uterus.”

    Dina and Amy smiling confused

    21. Dina Fox: “Why isn’t there a setting that hurts people?”

    Dina looking concerned

    22. Glenn Sturgis: “We are living in a brave, new, MeToo, Time’s Up, This Is Us kind of world. There are no rules anymore. But also, there’s nothing but rules.”

    Jonah animatedly talking to Glenn and Dina

    23. Garrett McNeill: "No, I am not high-fiving one man over another man's orgasm."

    Dina and Garrett high fiving

    24. Glenn Sturgis: “I used to end these meetings with some wisdom from the Good Book, but then someone reported me to corporate.”

    Garrett smiling

    25. Garrett McNeill: "What? A corporation doing something unethical to protect its interests? This is shocking!"

    Garrett smiling and talking over the speaker

    26. Amy Dubanowski: “Yeah, see, Latino parents are different. We don’t really need our kids to like us. We just break their spirit so the world doesn’t.”

    Amy wearing a mask

    27. Dina Fox: “I’m just saying what I feel, and people do not like what they’re hearing. I am a strong cup of coffee.”

    Dina looking at Amy talking

    28. Glenn Sturgis: “Some people might find your voice, octave-wise, to be the teeniest, tiniest bit high.”

    Glenn smiling at Dina

    29. Garrett McNeill: "It'll never be said that Garrett McNeill did not do just enough to not get fired."

    Dina and Garrett eating a salad on the couch

    30. Garrett McNeill: "Cloud 9 is now closed."

    Cloud 9 staff being socially distanced

    31. Dina Fox: “I cannot physically touch you, but I can get very close.”

    Dina looking at her phone confused

    32. Dina Fox: “Is it true that the Olympic Village is basically just a three-week-long Slammerama?”

    Dina holding a banner

    33. Dina Fox: “A psychopath doesn’t have a conscience. A sociopath knows what he’s doing is wrong but does it anyway.”

    Dina pointing at a person

    34. Dina Fox: “You are a journalist and a rapist, and those are the two worst things any person can be.”

    Pregnant Dina at a CT scan with Glenn and his wife

    35. Dina Fox: “Nobody bothers with the surveys. People only use receipts to spit out gum and for murder alibis."

    Dina holding Amy

    36. Dina Fox: “Look, you’re like the old paper coupons. You’re kind of a nuisance but arguably served a purpose, and now you’re useless.”

    Dina holding a red blanket frowning

    37. Amy Dubanowski: “Welcome to the no options club. It’s a cool club. Most of America’s in it. We meet on Tuesdays.”

    Amy standing and smiling

    38. Amy Dubanowski: “Strawberry blondes should not be allowed to grow facial hair. That should be in our constitution.”

    Amy dressed up in a judge costume

    39. Mateo Liwanag: “There are raises on the line. So sorry, not sorry. I’m not here to make friends.”

    Mateo talking to Jeff

    40. Cheyenne Lee: “I didn’t set out to have a baby. It came from sex.”

    Amy, Mateo and a pregnant Cheyenne looking surprised

    41. Amy Dubanowski: “We’re all becoming narcissistic attention whores!”

    Mateo giving a bowl of food to Amy

    42. Glenn Sturgis: “Balloons are like our souls. They want to go up, but can’t, and when you pop them, they scream.”

    43. Glenn Sturgis: “God doesn’t make mistakes very often, but when he does, you have to throw them right in the trash.”

    Glenn talking to the store staff

    44. Glenn Sturgis: “Turns out they had a meth lab in their basement, which, turns out, was just a front for a dog fighting ring."

    Glenn and Amy just hugging themselves

    45. Glenn Sturgis: “Just want to let you know, I know names besides Steve.”

    Amy looking at Glenn

    46. Garrett McNeill: “Yo, I don’t like working here. OK. But it’s my job. I do the bare minimum, but I don’t do less than that. And I’m not about to let a bunch of deal-hungry rubes trash our store and make me feel bad for Dina, which I did not think was possible.”

    Dina and Garrett looking into each other's eyes

    47. Glenn Sturgis: “People assume all Christians are homophobes. You know that is ignorant. You can’t imagine how hard it is being stereotyped.”

    Amy looking disgusted and Garrett clicking a picture

    48. Garrett McNeill: “I can’t be around Dina in that costume. It’s like, my rational brain says that’s the same crazy fascist that physically removed gum from my mouth, but my caveman brain says, 'Hey, man, boobs.' It’s very confusing.”

    Garrett in a costume

    49. Glenn Sturgis: “Could it be a race riot? It’s so hard to tell in the early stages.”

    Cloud 9 staff standing outside of the store

    50. Glenn: "You know, Mateo, it's funny. You're undocumented, and I'm over 60, and America doesn't want either of us to work anymore." Mateo: "Right, but I'm under constant fear of deportation, and you get discounts at movie theatres."

    Mateo and Glenn talking to each other