Women Of Reddit Say People Don't Take These 24 Boundaries Seriously

We really should pay more attention to what women have to say.

A few days ago u/I-Want-To-Die-Please asked a very important question on the subreddit r/AskWomen. The thread "What is a hard boundary of yours that people don't take seriously?" received more than 1,700 comments. Here are some of the answers that definitely prove that we have to improve as a society.

1. Lying.

E! / Via tenor.com

"I establish this boundary in all my relationships immediately, above all else. I don't even establish that they aren't allowed to flirt with other people or anything like that. Do whatever you want, just be 100% honest with me all the time. No one has been able to respect that yet." —u/superspongeybitch

2. Disregard for alone time.

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"I need alone time; it helps me to reset. Don’t try to minimize its importance because you want attention or company." —u/whatistheseanimals 

"I wish more people realized the weight this carries in some people's lives. I, too, NEED to be alone for long periods of time to just be able to actually relax and reset, like you said. Most people just go to the "oh, you just don't like people" or take it personally (especially if you're in a relationship), but even if that's the case sometimes, it's not about that. Being alone is when I feel the most comfortable and relaxed, and if I go long periods of time without being able to have alone time, I get extremely anxious, annoyed, frustrated, and fully DRAINED." —u/mariwina

3. Loud sounds.

Apatow Productions / Via tenor.com

"I get overstimulated with a lot of sounds at the same time, or certain types of sounds (ADHD trait), and my own husband does not seem to grasp it when I tell him to turn off his damn Bluetooth speaker." —u/lilzthepillz

4. Calling without texting.

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"If you want to talk or ask about something, send a message. Don't call me; I hate calls." —u/someone5133 

"The last time I answered an unexpected call from a friend was to tell me another friend unalived herself (this was a few years ago), so If someone calls me out of the blue when we normally text, it sets off my fight or flight immediately. No thanks." —u/lolathe

5. Showing up unannounced.

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"Showing up to my home unannounced. I hate it. I don't know why. It makes me really uncomfortable." —u/ThugBunny

6. Commenting on a person's weight.

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"I’ve lost 30 pounds because I’ve been deathly sick, unable to eat properly. I’m constantly out of energy and in pain, yet once I resurfaced in class and at work, all I hear is how I look good because I’ve lost weight. As greetings, conversation, and goodbyes, it seems I can’t escape it. I’ve had a full-on argument with an acquaintance because I politely asked them to stop commenting on my physical appearance after they started asking other people what I did to lose weight, assuming it would be some sort of workout or diet. Even yesterday I had someone I had only seen in class, yet never spoken to, greet me by saying, 'You look like you’ve lost weight,' and then smile as they walked away, leaving me no time to respond. Why do we associate weight with health, and feel the need to comment on people's bodies? I understand the intentions are innocent, but it’s harmful." —u/goddammituwhore

7. Consent before hugging.

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"Mine is that I really hate hugs and physical contact, but people always just ignore it or say that I'm being rude. Contact of any kind without my permission (even just a poke or a pat to get my attention) makes me nauseous and itchy." —u/i_want_to_die_please

8. Not taking a NO for a NO.

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"I hate having to say no more than once. I don't care what it is or why you're asking me again, but I said no, and I want that to be respected. Also, no is a full sentence — I shouldn't have to explain or justify myself." —u/dingobingowingo

9. Forcing people to drink.

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"I hate when you tell someone you don't drink, and they act like you murdered their family. Then, they keep trying to pressure you to drink because they're so insecure about drinking alone and say things like, 'Oh, but I want us to have fun,' like they can't comprehend a world where people can have fun without being drunk."  —u/TheTARDISRanAway

10. Tickling without consent.

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"Don't tickle me. They're always surprised Pikachu when I throw full-strength strikes to get it to stop. 'You were laughing!' Yeah, it's a panic response, and I told your dumb face I wasn't responsible for its condition if you started tickling me." —u/piglet_hamlet_omelet

11. Forcing people to "gossip."

E! / Via tenor.com

"I don't gossip. I'm okay with people venting or discussing problems because that's human nature, and outside advice can be really healthy, but the second it becomes gossipy I'm out. People always try and bring me into it though. 'Did you hear this about them?' No, and unless it comes from them directly, I don't want to know or discuss it." —u/vegetable-ad-647

12. Misgendering people.

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"My gender. Stop misgendering me for f*** sake." —u/Embarrased_Clue_929

13. Taking photos without consent.

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"I know I'll probably regret it later in life, but I hate how I look and get anxious when someone whips out a phone." —u/MeekaReyy 

"I absolutely loathe having my picture taken. I have body dysmorphia and a phobia of being in photos. Most people don’t understand or respect this." —u/betsir

14. Respecting sleep schedules.

Browstone Productions / Via tenor.com

"Respecting my sleep schedule when working the night shift. Like a landlord wanting to come over on a certain day to work on something not that important. I literally have to explain to people how they would feel if someone called or came over to their house at 2 a.m. while they were sleeping is how it is for me at 2 in the afternoon." —u/Vote4TheGoat

15. Food pushing.

Paramount Pictures Studios / Via tenor.com

"I hate food pushing. No thanks, I don’t want that food right now. I don’t have to explain myself. You cannot MAKE me eat something that I don’t want.

This is especially frustrating at office potlucks. I usually don’t eat any of it, and it’s amazing how hard people will try to pressure me. My decision is not about you! You can eat what you want; I’m not judging you! Just let me work." —u/dellada

16. Commenting on eating habits.

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"Don't comment on what I'm eating.

I've gone through years of people constantly nitpicking what I'm eating because I'm so thin. It's wearing. I've started not eating at all when someone comments now." —u/DecompressionIllness

17. Imposing interests or hobbies.

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"This is trivial, but I don't like superhero movies. Any of them. When people find this out, they immediately start telling me I have to watch them in a certain order, or they try to force me to watch one when we're hanging out. I'm not interested and don't want to waste two hours of my life that way. Why can't people respect that?" —u/Surlyllama23

18. Taking pictures of one's children.

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"Taking photos of my child and posting it on social media without permission." —u/NoIndividual809

19. Taking food off one's plate.

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"Sneaking food off my plate. It drives me up a wall when someone sees something on my plate they think looks good and reaches over to take a fry, pickle, or tomato, etc. Without asking." —u/ClassicIcy182

20. Touching one's stuff.

E! / Via tenor.com

"Don't touch my stuff. Don't move anything. Don't take anything. Just leave it alone or ask. It's mine. Stop touching it." —u/I-want-to-die-please

21. Pointing out hair extensions or wigs in public.

E! / Via tenor.com

"Not to touch my wig or eyebrows, or not point them out in public. I suffer from a hair loss disorder and get mega annoyed with this." —u/KaibaGirl92

22. Not being punctual.

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"Being obnoxiously late to pre-planned events and appointments. I grew up with a parent I had to lie about appointment and practice times to because they were always 30-60+ minutes late for everything. My doctor's appointment was 9:30; we’d show up at 10:15, and they would either give away my appointment or make me wait for an opening. My soccer practice ended at 7; they’d show up at 8. Can’t stand when people are late now, and it’s a huge deal-breaker for me. Obviously, this excludes one-off scenarios, emergencies, and valid medical reasons." —u/Earth_Klutzy

23. Not respecting one's chosen name.

tenor.com

"My name. My legal name is Katherine, and I was called Katie my entire life. When I was 28/29, I started shifting over to Kate instead and didn't think it would be an issue since most of my friends and family were already calling me Kate half the time anyway.

I was wrong.

I'm 36 now. I've been introducing myself as Kate for at least 7 years; I sign cards as Kate, and I've asked people to please call me Kate — it doesn't happen. My friends make an effort at least (probably a 60% success rate, but I started with them a lot later), but my mother (who previously called me Kate about 90% of the time) will only call me Katie now. My siblings continue to call me Katie and tell me it isn't a big deal.

I know it probably seems petty, but I mean I am asking you to please use a different diminutive of my legal name, one that is very similar to what you already called me. Why can't this just happen? Why the need to double down on ignoring my request?" —u/katie-didnot

24. Spanking.

MGM / Via tenor.com

"Spanking. It makes me feel objectified and humiliated, and I’ve literally stopped doing what I did after a guy I’m dating/fucking/are into spanked me and yelled at him. It’s not just during sex; if my partner jokingly gives me a spank passing by while I’m cooking, I’ll be angry. It doesn’t matter how hard or soft the spank is, it’s the thing itself." —u/myble

What would you add to the list?