1. He could take on mean girls (aka Queen Bees)
One day, I remembered something told to me in my dreams by, of all people, Seto Kaiba (the CEO of KaibaCorp from the anime Yu-Gi-Oh). In the beginning of episode 60 from Season 2, "The Master of Magicians Part 1" (which is in the English version of the second series anime), he tells a duelist who's picking on another duelist that when he speaks to Kaiba's little bro Mokuba in a mean way, "you dishonor me and the Battle City tournament. And besides, I have very little patience for bullies".
I have agreed with him on that ever since.
2. He has great business sense
3. He inspires fanfic writers and reminds them of a magpie
Also, I've read this sonnet that reminds me of Kaiba on FanFiction.Net. It's called The Magpie, and it's very well-written. I highly recommend it, of course. :)
"Sneering down at songbirds like they are zits" definitely means that Kaiba often smirks at his peers as though to say that he is the Mastermind, which is the male version of a Queen Bee in the "group", the male equivalent of a clique, and that people shouldn't challenge his masculinity (according to the revised and updated version of Queen Bees and Wannabes by Rosalind Wiseman, which I've been reading sometimes and recommend highly). Plus, from my point of view, he must maintain the appearance of having got everything under control, and also feels that he "can't admit to anyone when he's in over his head" when having to do so (according to the book).
And I also think that just as the magpie longs to laugh with them ("them" being the songbirds, which also refers to Yugi, Tea, Joey and Tristan), so Kaiba also secretly longs to be free of the chains represented by expectations that were placed on him by his stepfather, never have to deal with more worries than he's used to, and laugh with Yugi and the gang as though he was a part of them his whole life.
4. He does have feelings
5. He can inspire even a young entrepreneur
Well, there you have it. Now, what are your thoughts on the enigma that is Seto Kaiba? Let me know in the responses, please... :)