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22 Things Only Pianists Know To Be True

Stop Haydn your talents!

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There is a difference between a pianist and somone who plays piano.

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In fact, there's a difference of about several years of music theory and several THOUSAND dollars.

Sure the people that play piano know how to play everything on the Top 40 list.

But only because they searched it up on YouTube.
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But only because they searched it up on YouTube.

But we know the truth.

When someone says they play piano and then it turns out their piano teacher is actually a guy on tutorial videos from YouTube.

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This does not make you a pianist, people.

So whenever you find someone who is an ACTUAL PIANIST with ACTUAL LESSONS and the ACTUAL ABILITY TO READ MUSIC you get excited.

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"OHMIGOSH CAN WE DO A DUET TOGETHER?!?!"

But then they've got more repetoire under their belt than you and it's kind of embarrassing.

But if it's the other way around... it's still kinda awkward....
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But if it's the other way around... it's still kinda awkward....

Trying to find a good teacher that can help you at your level AND isn't $100-$200 a month is Mission: Impossible.

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And if you do find one, you hold them close and never let them go and pray that they aren't just doing this because they're in a tight spot and that they don't stop teaching after a year.

Whenever you find one of those teachers who decides to start teaching RIGHT AFTER THEY STARTED TAKING LESSONS THREE WEEKS AGO!!!

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You are a disgrace to the piano world. Just... don't.

When you bought the wrong book because you can't tell the difference between the piano and theory books.

Speaking of which, THEORY BOOKS.
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Speaking of which, THEORY BOOKS.

Either hearing and dreaming about those huge contests or playing in those huge contests.

When people get mad that you can't play their favorite song on the radio and expect you to know it.

We are not jukeboxes. We do not watch YouTube videos to learn songs when we can look at chords or get sheet music. We will not sink to that level of ameaturism! WE ARE BETTER THAN THIS!!!... Ameaturism is not a word.
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We are not jukeboxes. We do not watch YouTube videos to learn songs when we can look at chords or get sheet music. We will not sink to that level of ameaturism! WE ARE BETTER THAN THIS!!!

... Ameaturism is not a word.

Traditional v. Suzuki rivalries can get pretty nasty.

And then you get kinda afraid you picked the wrong method cause the other one has some ability you don't. i.e.:Suzuki: playing by earTraditional: reading sheet musicBoth: You are God.
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And then you get kinda afraid you picked the wrong method cause the other one has some ability you don't. i.e.:

Suzuki: playing by ear

Traditional: reading sheet music

Both: You are God.

When someone who doesn't even play piano says you messed up.

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You are not on my level. You do not have the right to critique. You have no idea how f*cking hard it is.

Being asked to play for something but there's no paycheck.

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Them: It's for the exposure!

Me: No, it's cause you are CHEAP!!!

Even when playing for a church or a choir: If the music director is getting paid and both of you are required to be there, you should get paid, too.

You have spent too long perfecting your craft to be expected to be there regularly without some sort of moolah.
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You have spent too long perfecting your craft to be expected to be there regularly without some sort of moolah.

Attempting to play an organ....

... But there's just too many keys.
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... But there's just too many keys.

When people try to say the piano is so easy when you know it's the second hardest instrument in the world.

Second only to harp, but third if you include the organ.
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Second only to harp, but third if you include the organ.

An open piano with people who have no idea what they're doing.

And then trying to take it over without telling them they're causing you physical pain.
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And then trying to take it over without telling them they're causing you physical pain.

When you're given a keyboard with less than 88 keys and no damper pedal.

And there's not even a way to change the dynamics without using the volume control. #unprofessional
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And there's not even a way to change the dynamics without using the volume control. #unprofessional

When you get to work with a really good keyboard though.

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I mean you can record your stuff, nice key weight, pedals, the different modes don't sound to automated, perfecto.

But you do what you do for the love of creating music out of nothing... On a grand piano.

So. F*cking. Gorgeous.
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So. F*cking. Gorgeous.

So, yeah, maybe you come off as a little prestigious or stuck up.

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And you may or may not actually be.

But that's only because you were taught to be refined.

And never forget that you are talented beyond your years!

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Oh, and also....

IF I HEAR FLIGHT OF THE BUMBLEBEE ONE MORE TIME I WILL RIP THE PIANIST'S HEAD OFF!!!

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That is all. :-)

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