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    How We Really Want To Answer Those Job Interview Questions...

    For those jobs that we really dont want and are in it for just the money. And who answers them truthfully anyways?

    1. First Question, Why Is There A Gap In Your Work History?

    Well, because I absolutely despised my last few jobs and I fucking hated my boss so I quit. I didn't put that job on my resume because I didn't want you calling them and honestly, because I enjoyed spending time at home, but now that money is running out I need to get a job, OK?!?! Chances are I'll fucking hate you too!!!

    2. Ok, How About You Tell Me About Yourself

    Hmmm, well on my spare time I sit around and watch movies. Or maybe i'll go out with my friends and drink way more than I should. Maybe even take a couple drugs now and then. I only want this job for the money. I probably wont take any pride in my work here. I hate interviews and I wish your hair wasnt so frizzy. I also like cats.

    3. Oh... Well, What Would The Person Who Likes You Least In The World Say About You?

    Probably that I'm an evil bitch who stole the man of her dreams and that she wished I'd die... Something along the lines of that.

    4. Tell Me About A Time When You Had A Problem At Work And How Did You Handle It?

    Hmmm, I dont fucking know! I have had problems all the time at work. I dont write them down every day. I just deal with them! Do you write down every fucking problem you have?!?!

    5. I See. What Is Your Biggest Weakness?

    Ah crap, I knew this question was coming... Go to hell.

    6. Tell Me About A Time When You Had To Deal With A Co-Worker Who Wasn't Doing His/Her Fair Share Of The Work. What Did You Do And What Was The Outcome?

    OK, first of all, this is like a 3 part question and I'm too nervous to remember all these questions...Ummm, well when a co-worker just sits on their ass all day, I just deal with it and then go home and piss and moan about it after work. If i go to a supervisor, i'll just be known as that ass kisser who tries to get her co-workers in trouble...

    7. Have You Worked With Someone You Didn't Like? If So, How Did You Handle It?

    Nope, I've always LOVED everyone i've worked with. Thats why I'm interviewing for a new job, because I loved my last one and the people there...

    8. Why Do You Think You Will Be Successful At This Job?

    Well, chances are I'll probably be quitting in less than a year because the majority of your staff looks miserable and you are scaring me. I just want a job until I find one that I truly enjoy.

    9. Tell Me About A Time When You Failed.

    That time I went for a job interview and didnt get the job...

    10. Lastly, Why Should I Hire You?

    God damnit. Of course you ask this. I dont fucking know! Honestly, I probably am not the right person for this job, but I need money so I'm going to give you some bullshit answer...

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