*checks clock* "Good, still have 30 minutes." *checks clock what feels like two minutes later* "Oh no, where did all that time go??"
You know a TV show was written by a man when they call a $36 bra expensive.
"All we need to know is that’s evil, and evil did something, and evil needs to pay for what he did," the local sheriff said.
"People be like, 'I'm baby.' No, you're three months behind on rent."
"If the How I Met Your Mother creators were set on sticking with their plan, then the show shouldn’t have lasted so long."
"I ordered cookie dough to my apartment at midnight, and the delivery rider asked if I was okay. I mean, what do you think, Robert?"
Surprising new couple alert!
"Mrs. Darbus is a clout chaser."
"SNL" Has Fired Shane Gillis For His Racist Remarks Just Days After NBC Announced He Was Joining The Show
"The language he used is offensive, hurtful and unacceptable," an SNL spokesperson said Monday.
"I'm wandering around Whole Foods like Tom Hanks in 'The Terminal.'"
Who plays Thanos again?
"I hate to say it — I hope I don't sound ridiculous — I don't know who this man is. I mean, he could be walking down the street, I wouldn't...I wouldn't know a thing."
Bill Hader? More like "Babe Hader."
A VSCO girl is all about, like, self-aware basic-ness and good vibes.
Donald Trump Keeps Telling World Leaders The Same Story About Kim Jong Un And The “Little Rocket Man” Tweets
It's not a parody, it's the president of the United States.