The Rollercoaster Ride To Adopting
The process of adopting a child can be a rollercoaster of a ride for everyone involved.
At times, it can be heartbreaking, but it can also be one of the happiest times in a person's life.
In this Special Report, Brittany Wright tells us the story of one Northern Michigan couple's journey.
"It's kind of like a miracle that I would be having this in this point of my life."
Adopting a child is a process of waiting and hoping. For Lisa Dougherty and Earl Jerzyk, having a family is something they never thought would happen.
"I wanted a family, and when we couldn't conceive, that's what it is and then she talked to me about this program," said Earl.
They enrolled in the Open Adoption program at Catholic Human Services. The program focuses on what's best for the baby and birth mother, and the birth mother can have a change of heart at any time.
"There is a series of three classes that they take with other interested couples," explains Tom Bohnhorst, Catholic Human Services. "Then there is a home study that takes place where the adoption worker goes out to their home for four visits to get more depth information about their family of origin."
Families create a scrapbook -- hoping a birth mother will pick them. Lisa and Earl were chosen a few times.
"The first one was a woman we met and then she kind of moved downstate and changed her mind and didn't really tell us," said Lisa.
Then chosen again - with the same outcome.
"It was a family from Cadillac, a couple and they ended up moving to Florida."
Tom says, "20-25% of our birth mothers have a change of heart, and most of the time those change of hearts occur before the baby is born or at the hospital."
Waiting for a miracle -- they received a call from the agency saying a birth mother wanted to meet them. Two days later, they brought home Hannah.
"We brought her home Christmas Eve about 6:00 p.m.," said Lisa. "It was like the best Christmas gift ever."
Earl said, "we were just completely overjoyed bringing home this little baby, but at the time we were driving away from the hospital I was thinking about the birth mom that she was having the opposite feeling that we were."
Two weeks later, heartache returned.
"That was heart-wrenching," said Lisa. "She called Tom and all he said was Lisa and I said oh she wants her back… I knew right away-- it was heartbreaking."
"It was almost like we sort of became robots, we just kind of had to go through -- just hold our emotions down," Earl explained. "It was a tough night and then a tougher morning."
Hannah's birth mother had not terminated her parental rights.
"There is a three to six week period after the child's birth when she is free to change her mind if she can't live with the plan and we support her," Tom said.
"Even though I knew what it was -- it still hurt really bad and more so to watch my wife to through that," said Earl.
"We went up there and met with her and she was like I'm sorry I'm sorry -- the birth mom," Lisa explained. "But she was heartbroken too because she has this little baby and chooses to give it to us and then has a change of heart."
Years went by, and Lisa and Earl didn't give up. A few years later they adopted Maddi.
"It's like a big gift that they have given to give a child to someone else and give it whole heartily and be supportive of it."
Finally parents, the couple got another surprise.
"Maddi was about nine months old and we got a call from Tom that Hannah's birth mom wondered if we would still want to take care of her and that she was in position not to be able to take care of her and thought of us."
"It was surreal and also kind of scary," said Earl.
Hannah was now two and a half years old.
"We weren't sure what to do," said Lisa. "We weren't sure of what direction to go in and here she was already development and she didn't really know us and she didn't really have any attachment to us."
At first, Hannah just visited on weekends, but eventually became their daughter.
"When she came back here, it was like a dream come true and then reality set in on tough it was to bring in a second child," said Earl.
Lisa explained, "it was difficult because she had some issues that she had to work through and we're still working on."
Today, Hannah is getting ready for kindergarten and Maddi is in preschool.
"They just make you smile, cry and laugh and how they grow and what they teach you is unbelievable."
A rough road to becoming a family, but Lisa and Earl say it was all worth it.
"If our situation didn't happen with Hannah, we probably wouldn't have Maddi," said Earl. "And it's one of those things I wouldn't wish this on anybody to what happened, but in the long-run it was meant to be and it worked out for all of us."
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