1. You Stand on Chairs
2. You know what all the different cutlery is...
...and most importantly, when to use them.
3. When people tell you about their new diet
4. You prevent people from eating even if the food starts to get cold
The food arrives. Everyone at the table is excited to dig in. You put your hands up and tell everyone to wait. You take out your phone and demand no one starts until you are satisfied with your Instagram photo.
5. You know what an amuse-bouche and petit fours is
You're down with the lingo and you make other people around you feel inferior.
6. You try to work out, but you fail...
7. Or your friends try to get you to exercise...
8. You feed your instagram before people...
...then wonder why they hate going out with you.
9. You change seats if the lighting isnt good
Lighting. Is. Everything.
10. When you're tossing between two dishes and the one you don't choose is better
11. This sums you up perfectly
12. When everyone says they're too full for dessert.
13. When you see your food coming to the table
We all know that feeling of pure joy.
14. When you eat too quickly and burn your mouth
Those 3rd degree burns were worth it though.
15. When everyone on the table orders the same thing
16. When the waiter suggests a wine
17. Your inbox is full of food blog subscriptions...
...but you only look at the pictures
18. When the chef comes out of the kitchen and you go completely fan girl.
OMG OMG OMG Heston is that you?!?!
19. Accepting the fact that you're going to end up fat
20. When you're all excited for a restaurant and it turns out to be a complete flop.
21. You love food more than people
22. Your holidays end up revolving around your meals
Move over Empire State Building. Step aside Statue of Liberty. I'm here for the pizza.
23. When the food at the party is shit
...and you think to yourself, why am I even here?
24. When your friends ask you why you're so cranky
25. When people ask me how I became a food blogger
26. When the waiter takes his sweet ass time to take you order
27. You have a game plan for the buffet
Always start with the expensive stuff. Unbutton your pants and head straight for the seafood. Carbs are just fillers!
28. You spend all your money on food.
Blow your rent money on a truffle degustation?... F*ck Yeh!
29. You watch every single cooking show on TV
Master Chef, MKR, Hot Plate. You name it I watch it!