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15 Truly Absurd Men's Health Headlines

I frequent the Men's Health site more than possibly anyone else on the planet, but sometimes their headlines even make me wonder what I'm doing with my life.

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"Should you buy your wife a fitness tracker for her vagina?"

Fox / Via

It might be going to Pilates without you knowing after all.

"What in the World is a Butt-Wink?"

Harpo Productions / Via

Do you know? Do you care? *Butt-Winking* at you if you do.

"Is My Penis Normal?"

Pixar / Via

Goodbye body confidence ... Hello paranoia?

"Is she addicted to her vibrator?"

Fox / Via

Addicted is a very strong word.

"Is it a sex toy or a fishing lure?"

Warner Bros. Entertainment / Via

Here's hoping you know the difference.

"What should you do with her breasts?"

Fox / Via

She might just want you to leave them alone, you know?

"Never touch a naked thigh unless you're sure it's not your mother's."

Fox / Via

No comment necessary.

"These commercial slogans would never work on a stripper's body."

NBC / Via

Jim is so over this bullshit.

"Building the perfect sex machine."

Channel 4 / Via

I feel like the context is important with this one ...

"Should you have sex while driving?"

Fremantle Media / Via

Road safety first, people.

"What Matthew McConaughey keeps in his fanny pack."

BBC / Via

*Disappointed Sigh*

'Hi, I have three breasts! Interested?'

MTV / Via

Your forwardness is almost as disarming as your third breast.

"Can you find a girlfriend with street-sign flyers?"

MTV Films / Via

Probably a solid no.

"One of the hottest women in the world is a little boy."

HBO / Via

*Dramatic Gasp*

"The coolest $500 pancakes ever."

NBC / Via

iPad > Pancake?

iPad < Pancake?

Gold Circle Films / Via

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