1. Justin Bieber
Not that I even number my lists, but if I did, this one would be appropriately at the top. I’m SO sick of hearing about Justin Bieber. He is the opposite of cool, has absolutely no swagger and is a complete toolbag. Sure, he was cool when he was young and a YouTube sensation; But, as he got older, his talent evolved about as much as his pituitary gland - which we know is like - NOT AT ALL. Dude has to stop dominating topics of conversation.
2. Twitter Spamming
Look, Twitter is a place where you can follow anyone and vice versa. There’s no real ‘privacy’ as there is [read: used to be] on Facebook. Anyone can just “at reply” your Twitter name and spam the hell out of you with inappropriate links. Since more often than not, you think that said spammer is just joining in on your ongoing conversation about [topic], you’ll end up clicking the link and realizing it is actually a dirty, filthy spam. I don’t stand for it. I straight up report the Tweeter and block them, but not before I “at reply” them with a little spam message of my own. Not cool, dude.
3. Talking on the Phone in a Public Restroom
Really?! I can hear you. I am sitting on the toilet bowl right next to you listening to you talk to your son about whether or not he’s done his homework, how sorry you are that you and his father are divorced and how happy you are to have custody of him this upcoming weekend. I know you probably could care less if a complete stranger knows your business. I get it. You’ll never see me again. BUT, do you care about your own morality/values? Would you walk around an unfamiliar town naked because you’ll never see any of the people again? No. Why? Because you just don’t do that. So, keep your phone in your pocketbook and save the phone calls for when other people aren’t flushing toilets around you. Pig.
4. American Idol
Yup, I said it. In fact, this show was over for me this year. When Simon Cowell decided he was no longer going to judge AI - I thought ‘FU, I’m out.’ And, I was. The show isn’t cool anymore - or maybe that’s because I’m not addicted to it like I used to be. [Remember at one time this blog was HIGHLY dedicated to recapping each and every episode!] It’s just…not…that…good. Moreover, even though Simon and Paula are together on the X-Factor, I can’t get into that either! AI was genius in the beginning. You can’t change genius. You just can’t.
I know some will disagree, but I’m really over it a little with RueLaLa. I want so badly to like it again, but like all pioneers in their industry (remember what happened to MySpace?!) their innovative novelty has worn off. Their prices have gone up, the brands they are showcases have odd-balled and with the growing popularity of Beyond The Rack, Haute Look and Ideeli - well…they’ve got their competition cut out for them. Also, online shopping is a bit of a rush. The adrenaline runs through your body and your heart beats just a little bit faster once you hit “submit” on your order. With the increasing popularity of Groupon, Living Social and Amazon Local Deals, your chances to buy something you’ll get USE out of so instantly (no need to wait a week for a sweater that may or may not fit you when you can get $40 worth of food at [restaurant] for $20 tonight!] are higher. You understand what I’m saying?
6. Kim Kardashian
I’m pretty sure Khloe will remain in the news since she’s trying to get knocked up and buzz will surround Kourtney since she is knocked up, BUT there is absolutely no reason to keep Kim in the news. Sadly, her poor publicity ploys [say that three times fast] have sealed her fate as one of the most annoying people in the news. I don’t even think she’ll get a cover of a publication anytime soon and won’t be surprised if her next move is Playboy. She does NOTHING. She is NOTHING. And, the reality show isn’t even that good. There, I said it.
7. Angry Birds
Get a life. If you’re not in college anymore, you shouldn’t be playing Angry Birds. I remember the good ol’ days of Snood. Procrastination at its best. But, if you’re a real-life adult with a real-life job, significant other and other responsibilities, then you should stop thinking Angry Birds is cool. It’s not. You’re a loser.
Facebook is not for game-playing. This does NOT count if you play with your little children, that’s totally okay with me. But, if you’re an adult [see definition above] you should probably stop farming online and get off your ass, move to rural Pennsylvania and farm for real. Moreover, if someone personally messages you and politely ask that you no longer send them Farmville (or any other FB game requests) then you should oblige. Otherwise, you get de-friended. I’m talking to you, David Markowitz. I ended our online relationship last week.
9. Double Rainbow
You’ve seen one. You’ve seen them all.
10. Taking Pictures of Yourself in the Mirror
No explanation needed. Don’t do this. You might as well caption the shot with “I’ve been standing here for thirty minutes taking picture of myself and this is at the very least my 11th ‘take’ of this photo.”