1. Jumping off a roof onto a moving vehicle
Unless you’re trying to jump onto an ambulance, don’t even.
2. Dodging a thousand bad-guy blasters without even really trying
I mean sure, there’s a few rookie henchmen or nearsighted thugs out there, but if you go through life relying on, say, intergalactic bounty hunters sitting across the Cantina table to shoot high and wide*, you won’t be long for this (or any) world.
(*Please do not even get us STARTED on this.)
3. Having an animal play on your sports team
Here’s the thing: It doesn’t matter that the rulebook doesn’t expressly prohibit animals, or teen werewolves, from playing basketball. Your team might win that first game on that technicality, but the rest of the league is going to file a grievance, quick.
4. Training via montage
Sure, a montage is a faster way to train, but it’s through repetition and time that you achieve expertise. Montage also doesn’t work for trying on clothes, painting a house or training a village to fight banditos.
5. Hacking everything and anything with 1990s technology
If you remember the ’90s you also remember dialup. So… there’s that. Also, not to nitpick but hackers don’t generally type in 72 point colorful fonts.
6. Walking slowly away from an explosion
You know what’s even cooler than strolling away from a fireball? Not going to the hospital for hearing loss, brain damage and severe burns on your back. Safety first, kids.
7. Rescuing a romance by running like mad through an airport
It doesn’t matter how much you love them; running through an airport while shouting is a one-way ticket to the romance of jail.
8. Waiting until the last second to diffuse a bomb
Bomb technology has evolved beyond the old three-wires-and-a-clock-radio approach, so these days you’ll need more than wire cutters and a panicky sidekick.
9. The knockout punch
“Two hits: I hit you. You hit the floor.” Yeah, good luck with that.