19 ’90s Childhood Films That Gave You An Existential Crisis

You never really understood these movies UNTIL NOW.

1. Matilda

Tristar Pictures

Tristar Pictures

 

What it was supposed to teach you: You can always find your place in the world even in challenging environments.
What it actually taught you: The world is a cold, cold place and you will never have SUPER POWERS like Matilda did to get things to go her way.

2. Toy Story

Pixar/Walt Disney

Pixar/Walt Disney

 

What it was supposed to teach you: Not everything is the way it seems.
What it actually taught you: Your toys are PROBABLY NOT leading a secret life behind your back.

3. Mrs. Doubtfire

20th Century Fox

20th Century Fox

 

What it was supposed to teach you: Everything will be fine, even if your parents divorce.
What it actually taught you: Your parents will go to crazy means in order to get revenge on each other.

4. Home Alone

20th Century Fox

20th Century Fox

 

What it was supposed to teach you: You can manage on your own without your parents.
What it actually taught you: It is completely possible that your parents forget you even exist every time they leave the house.

5. Jumanji

Tristar Pictures

Tristar Pictures

 

What it was supposed to teach you: You can escape reality, if you just use your imagination.
What it actually taught you: All board games in real life are pointless and boring because jungles don’t POP OUT of the ones your parents bought you.

6. Angels in the Outfield

Walt Disney Pictures

Walt Disney Pictures

 

What it was supposed to teach you: You can win even if you are the underdog as long as you really believe in yourself.
What it actually taught you: Angels don’t care about things like world peace. They only show themselves to baseball players so they can win more games.

7. The Sandlot

20th Century Fox

20th Century Fox

 

What it was supposed to teach you: You can still fit in, even if you are the new kid, but you will make many mistakes along the way.
What it actually taught you: You NEVER know what may be hiding in your neighbors backyard.

8. Honey, I Shrunk The Kids

Walt Disney Pictures

Walt Disney Pictures

 

What it was supposed to teach you: Science is a cool field where you can do almost anything.
What it actually taught you: Aren’t we all shrunk, if you really think about it? Humans are tiny compared to most animals and trees.

9. Casper

Universal Pictures

Universal Pictures

 

What it was supposed to teach you: Ghosts are friendly.
What it actually taught you: You should believe in ghosts if they are all as cute and friendly as Casper. SHOW YOURSELVES, DAMMIT.

10. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

New Line Cinema

New Line Cinema

 

What it was supposed to teach you: Turtles are superheroes who solve crime.
What it actually taught you: Turtles in real life are the biggest slowpokes and most disappointing turtles on earth. All animals should love pizza as much as TMNT do.

11. 101 Dalmations

Walt Disney Pictures

Walt Disney Pictures

 

What it was supposed to teach you: Evil people will do bad things
What it actually taught you: Puppies PROBABLY have a bigger and better moral compass than humans do, but they just play dumb for snacks.

12. James and the Giant Peach

Buena Vista Pictures

Buena Vista Pictures

 

What it was supposed to teach you: You can create your own secret world in your head.
What it actually taught you: Fruit will never be this exciting in real life.

13. Lion King

Walt Disney Pictures

Walt Disney Pictures

 

What it was supposed to teach you: The path to finding yourself is long and difficult.
What it actually taught you: People can just die like that and you will never see them again?

14. Smart House

Disney Channel

Disney Channel

 

What it was supposed to teach you: Winning a contest where someone gives you a free house isn’t always a good thing.
What it actually taught you: Computers probably are smarter than humans and we should just burn them all to cinder.

15. Harriet The Spy

Paramount Pictures

Paramount Pictures

 

What it was supposed to teach you: You can use writing as a tool to express yourself and to communicate with others.
What it actually taught you: Don’t ever actually tell anyone how you honestly feel about them because it will all BACKFIRE and no one will be your friend.

16. Jurassic Park

Universal Pictures

Universal Pictures

 

What it was supposed to teach you: Dinosaurs are cool, man.
What it actually taught you: Dinosaurs should never come back from that whole extinction thing. They just ruin everything.

17. Spice World

Columbia Pictures

Columbia Pictures

 

What it was supposed to teach you: The Spice Girls have an international appeal because they are fun and happy.
What it actually taught you: There is no way anyone can actually write an international pop song as catchy as “Wannabe” while on the night shift at a restaurant. Just fuck it all.

18. Jungle 2 Jungle

Walt Disney Pictures

Walt Disney Pictures

 

What it was supposed to teach you: Family is family, even if you didn’t grow up with them.
What it actually taught you: Living in a jungle DOESN’T MEAN you are free from having to worry about things like your parents and society.

19. Space Jam

Warner Bros.

Warner Bros.

 

What it was supposed to teach you: Anyone can be athletic, even cartoons.
What it actually taught you: There’s absolutely no way a 6 foot man can fit into a golf cup, unless we are all on drugs.

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