Point of order: this is “Ignition (Remix)” not “Ignition”

first!

Only people who have never said anything objectionable should be allowed to go to poetry readings at the white house.

Note to all women: flowers for valentines day are not cheap. Also adopting a pet is more expensive than almost everything else on the chart.

Sorry to get all nerdy here, but why use an SSD? That's some of the most expensive storage out there! You can get a conventional hard drive for about $0.11/GB and an effective speed of 50Mbps shipped. That's almost 20x cheaper. Come on! Also, back in 2003 (when affordable drives were smaller), Microsoft Research really was transferring data this way and getting effective transfer rates of 7Mbps. Fun fact!

Another difference between highway traffic and airplane passengers is your distance to cellphone towers. If you're on the ground, it is easy to tell which cell phone tower you are closest to, and then you are assigned a channel on that tower. However, when you're 30k feet up you may be nearly equidistant from many towers. That's a problem because you then take up a channel on all of them. More detail here!

Hey Jack, you know I've got all the respect in the world for you right? So don't take this the wrong way, but I think you've got a major error here. Four Loko is so loco because it has a very high alcohol content, around 12%. I hope we can all agree on that much. Problem is, you're starting with St. Ides, which is about 8%, and diluting it by over 50%. So, you've replicated the energy drink part of Four Loko, but not the really loco part. You've got something with as much alcohol as Bud Light. You need to start with something around 30% alcohol, maybe something blue raspberry flavored.

how do you hold a pen? you don't have thumbs.

Hey Jack, this would be pretty cool if it weren't FANCY FRIDAY today, just like every Friday. Why are you wearing a sweater and t-shirt? Have some respect for yourself.