11 Technologies We Should Totally Have Right Now

It’s 2013. That’s a lot of years. People have been talking about these technologies for like, decades at least, and yet we still don’t have them. What’s up with that? Get your hands on one piece of future technology that IS coming soon—preorder the Xbox One today.

1. Underwater Cities

2K Games / Via youtube.com

Now that sharknados are a thing it’s probably safer to just take refuge underseas. At least then we can keep all the sharks out with glass or whatever. Plus, think of all the money you’d save on those annual trips to the aquarium!

2. Underwater Bedrooms

Not feeling patient? Yeah, we get it. Who wants to wait for an underwater city to be built? Make your own. Or, you know. Stay in the hotel that does all the work for you.

3. Moon Colonization

And while we’re at it, let’s get started on colonizing the moon. It’s getting a little crowded around here, don’t you think? There are legitimate talks of a moon base, so that’s happening. We’ll head up there once it’s confirmed that there’s wifi. Good wifi. And free. Let us know.

4. Rotating Hotels

The human body is a beautiful thing. But when the only view from your hotel window is the large nudist man in Room 208…things need to change. Enter this hotel in Turkey, where the loft slowly rotates to give its guests 360 degrees of gorgeous landscape and zero degrees of unsolicited nudity. Future!!

5. Teleportation

CBS / Via youtube.com

Sure, there was that whole thing where Jeff Goldblum turned into a fly, but that was FICTIONAL. People these days barely have time to compose a genuine sext, much less worry about figuring out how they’re supposed to take off enough time to make it home for that family reunion they’re really looking forward to (I swear Grandma, it’s true!). At least that “hyperloop” deal is a step in the right direction.

6. Time Travel

How is this not a thing yet? We want to go hang out with Abraham Lincoln. We want to see if mankind ends up offing itself. We want to go back to this morning and un-eat that questionably old fridge pizza. Come on, science.

7. Cars that Grow

Mercedes Benz / Via picasaweb.google.com

This is the Mercedes Benz Biome concept car. It’s not assembled - it’s grown. From two seeds. One for the exterior, and one for the interior. When running, it emits pure oxygen, only weighs 876 pounds, and when its life is over, it can be composted. When this thing finally hits the shelves in a few decades, it will silence all hybrid car smugness, and replace it with insane next-level smugness.

8. Wireless Electricity

Because who has time for outlets? Or cords? Ugh, we’re exhausted just thinking about it. So much time wasted, plugging things in - time that could better be spent strategically selecting which Instagram photos to Like.

9. Robot Butler

NBC / Via youtube.com

Michael Scarn, aka Michael Scott, aka Steve Carell had it all figured out: a robot butler could do all the things you don’t want to do, like hand you the remote. Or find a donut spot that’s open at this hour, and run out to get you one. OR be a shoulder to cry on. Oop - no. Rust.

10. Anywhere-Printer

Find an attractive landscape. Snap a photo. Print it right there on whatever paper you’ve got lying around. OR! Take a selfie. Locate your sleeping roommate. Print it on his/her forehead. We’ve got more ideas.

11. Space Elevator

Jessica Spengler / Via Flickr: 97844767@N00

An elevator that goes to space - awesome. Here’s the thing, though. It takes eight days. If you can’t handle 30 seconds in your building’s elevator cramped in next to a few sweaty rando’s, you might want to seriously reconsider purchasing a ticket on this bad boy.

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