I’m going to give you a piece of my mind.
Something’s not right, but I can’t quite put my finger on it.
Your fingernails are getting out of hand.
Why was the pumpkin scared? He had no guts.
…because a razor blade hidden inside an apple is so 1967.
Why you shouldn’t swallow watermelon seeds.
Not quite like the tampon scene in 50 Shades of Grey…
I’m giving you the cold shoulder.
Why did the vampire fail art class? He could only draw blood.
Said one cannibal to the other, “I never met a man I didn’t like.”
- Dylann Roof has been formally charged with nine counts of murder for the Charleston church shooting last month.
- Britain marks 10 years since 52 people were killed in terrorist attacks in London.
- Authorities reportedly raided the Indiana home of Jared Fogle, the face of many Subway sandwich advertisements.