1. Emperor Penguins
These guys are regal as hell. I bet they wear bibs when they eat their caviar.
2. King Penguins
These guys look pretty similar to emperor penguins, except their babies are cyborg vultures from the future.
3. Chinstrap Penguins
These sly devils are distinguished by the supafly straps under their chins. Thus the names, “CHIN” and “STRAP”. You following?
4. Adélie Penguins
These bros are pretty chill. They’re also voiced by Martin Short in 90s movies that only about ten people saw.
5. Gentoo Penguins
These little fellas look just like Adélie penguins, except they are part Kelly Slater.
6. Macaroni Penguins
Macaroni penguins just want to hang out and watch “The Nanny”.
7. Royal Penguins
These muchachos are like skinnier Macaroni penguins, except they transform nearby seals into Snorlaxes.
8. Erect-Crested Penguins
These immature jerks never stop saying, “That’s what she said”.
9. Snares Penguins
Snares Island penguins are very mean, and also genetically engineered to look just like James Gandolfini.
10. Fiordland Penguins
These jabronies are from New Zealand, which means they’d pronounce their name “Fee-ohde-lind Ping-guins”.
11. Rockhopper Penguins
Like everybody’s favorite Grammy-winning recording artist “Weird Al” Yankovic, these guys always have a bad hair day.
12. African Penguins
These little dudes don’t give a shit about the heat. Sun’s out, fun’s out!
13. Humboldt Penguins
Humboldt penguins are not from Humboldt. They’re actually from South America. So. Got you.
14. Magellanic Penguins
Magellanic penguins do really great huddles and win lots of football games.
15. Galapagos Penguins
Galapagos penguins have less blubber so they can live in hotter conditions. This guy is on set for his audition for the remake of “Free Willy”.
16. Yellow-Eyed Penguins
These little brosephs look like weird dinosaurs. They’re probably weird dinosaurs.
17. Fairy Penguins
Fairy penguins wear sweaters and don’t care what you think of them. These two seem to be re-creating “Dumb & Dumber”.
18. So, in case you were worried that you didn’t know enough about penguins…
Don’t worry. You are ready to enter the world now.
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- Two people were killed and at least 22 injured after a circus tent collapsed amid stormy weather Monday evening in New Hampshire.