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In Case You Were Worried That You’d Forgotten Every Type of Penguin

An important refresher for the intellectual mind.

1. Emperor Penguins

These guys are regal as hell. I bet they wear bibs when they eat their caviar.

2. King Penguins

These guys look pretty similar to emperor penguins, except their babies are cyborg vultures from the future.

3. Chinstrap Penguins

These sly devils are distinguished by the supafly straps under their chins. Thus the names, “CHIN” and “STRAP”. You following?

4. Adélie Penguins

These bros are pretty chill. They’re also voiced by Martin Short in 90s movies that only about ten people saw.

5. Gentoo Penguins

These little fellas look just like Adélie penguins, except they are part Kelly Slater.

6. Macaroni Penguins

Macaroni penguins just want to hang out and watch “The Nanny”.

7. Royal Penguins

These muchachos are like skinnier Macaroni penguins, except they transform nearby seals into Snorlaxes.

8. Erect-Crested Penguins

These immature jerks never stop saying, “That’s what she said”.
Jerks.

9. Snares Penguins

Snares Island penguins are very mean, and also genetically engineered to look just like James Gandolfini.

10. Fiordland Penguins

These jabronies are from New Zealand, which means they’d pronounce their name “Fee-ohde-lind Ping-guins”.

11. Rockhopper Penguins

Like everybody’s favorite Grammy-winning recording artist “Weird Al” Yankovic, these guys always have a bad hair day.

12. African Penguins

These little dudes don’t give a shit about the heat. Sun’s out, fun’s out!

13. Humboldt Penguins

Humboldt penguins are not from Humboldt. They’re actually from South America. So. Got you.

14. Magellanic Penguins

Magellanic penguins do really great huddles and win lots of football games.

15. Galapagos Penguins

Galapagos penguins have less blubber so they can live in hotter conditions. This guy is on set for his audition for the remake of “Free Willy”.

16. Yellow-Eyed Penguins

These little brosephs look like weird dinosaurs. They’re probably weird dinosaurs.

17. Fairy Penguins

Fairy penguins wear sweaters and don’t care what you think of them. These two seem to be re-creating “Dumb & Dumber”.

18. So, in case you were worried that you didn’t know enough about penguins…


Don’t worry. You are ready to enter the world now.

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