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25 Weird And Wacky Things That Happen When You Go To A Barbie Collectors Convention

Every year, nearly 1,000 hardcore Barbie collectors convene for their annual convention. Here’s a peek into their world, from a confused and delighted outsider.

1. You’ll see a lot of pristine Barbies still in their boxes.

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2. Lots and lots of Barbies in boxes.

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3. And you might find yourself wistfully running your fingers along the plastic covers and asking one of the vendors, “Do you think they’re sad they never got played with?”

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4. To which the vendor will reply, “No.”

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5. You’ll harbor some confusing sexual feelings about a Ken doll with a bangin’ hipster beard.

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6. You’ll get a rush from touching a rare vintage Barbie that costs more than a brand new Kia Rio.

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Yep, that says “$12,995.” As in THIRTEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS.

7. And after that, a $10,000 vintage Barbie will suddenly seem like a bargain.

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You could barely buy a used Rio for that much.

8. You’ll drool over a hand-painted, one-of-a-kind doll wearing a dress made of sequins and vintage Italian lace.

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Does this come in my size?

9. And wonder if an itty bitty Louis Vuitton bag is a knockoff.

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It’s so hard to tell these days.

10. You’ll realize that no matter the context, a box full of decapitated Barbie bodies is always creepy.

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The upside? You’ll also realize that “Heads Priced As Marked” would be a great name for a death metal band.

11. You’ll spend an inordinate amount of time pondering where Ken could wear this outfit, before settling on “medieval disco fetish party.”

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And then you’ll be like, “Damn, do those exist? Because I would totally go to one.”

12. This Dolly Parton doll will make you consider becoming a serious collector.

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Gimme gimme gimme!!!

13. You’ll come face to face with a plethora of Barbie-sized wigs.

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The guy selling them will tell you this is the last year he’s bringing them to the convention, because “it’s a real pain transporting this many Barbie wigs on a plane from San Jose.” You will nod as if this is a common problem.

14. And experience some pretty serious wardrobe envy.

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Common symptoms of attending a Barbie Collectors Convention include an overwhelming urge to fill your closet with more themed outfits.

15. Not to mention furniture envy.

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Just wondering if that dining room set could be scaled up to actual size? For around the same price? Thanks!

16. You’ll breathe a huge sigh of relief that this hairstyle is no longer trendy.

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Because it looks OK on Barbie, but would do nothing for your bone structure.

17. You’ll be blown away by the original Barbie art for sale.

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Need this hanging next to my bathroom mirror, like, now.

18. Seriously, look at this painting!

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Psst — you can buy them here!

19. You’ll look at this “Montana” Barbie, think about the actual state of Montana, and fail to see the connection.

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Like, it’s green? Maybe that’s it?

20. You’ll get a little choked up when you see the same Barbie travel case your mom kept on the dresser of her childhood bedroom.

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Keep it together. Keep it together…

21. You’ll realize you don’t have nearly enough Barbie swag in your life.

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22. Especially when you see this girl’s outfit.

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23. Three words: Barbie. Shoe. Earrings.

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24. You’ll learn bits of trivia that might pay off in the future.

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For example: What do early Barbies smell like?
Answer: A box of crayons.

25. You’ll gaze in awe at pair after pair of matching Barbie shoes.

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Proof that, contrary to popular belief and personal experience, keeping track of both Barbie shoes is not impossible.

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