They have this statue of a bulldog you always wanted.
Cornell gets all the crazy professors that aren’t ex-felons.
They believe they’re American royalty.
..and they are.
Brown students love Lincoln the way you love Mary Jane.
Dartmouth has cool parties you’re not invited to.
But you wish you were.
They get cute lions like this.
They turn something great into something that makes you question all of your life choices.
They got chocolate at orientation, and you just got crabs.
You could only dream of this homoerotic physique that Cornell and Brown students possess.
Only Ivy League students can rock this many colors at once.
Their sweatshirts are so much classier than your t-shirt from the University of Nebraska-Lincoln.
Princeton students’ high academic achievement was rewarded with these fabulous lamps that I’m pretty sure I saw on Queer Eye.
Columbia students look at this while you’re stuck looking at the DMV across from the County College of Morris.
At Brown, you could have realized your dream of being a fabulous male cheerleader.
Dartmouth got a Kennedy, while you got a rejection letter from Vassar.
17. And most of all…
YOU MISSED YOUR CHANCE TO GO TO YALE WITH RORY GILMORE.