11 Signs You’re A Bush

Ever wondered if you’re a human or a bush? Time to find out!

1. You’re green

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2. You list your ethnicity as “bush”

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3. Bees fornicate on your head

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4. You have no thumbs

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5. You wake up every day and think “goddamn I’m a bush”

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6. When someone says “tell me about yourself,” you say, “I’m a bush”

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7. You’re always the last one picked for stickball

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8. You’re a staunch atheist

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9. Whenever someone says “beating around the bush” in your presence, it’s usually followed by an awkward, uncomfortable silence, and then a playful, “lighten up, man! I’m just joshing with you!”

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10. No one takes your opinion seriously, unless it’s about mulch

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11. People routinely point at you and scream “BUSH”

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