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11 Signs You’re A Bush

Ever wondered if you’re a human or a bush? Time to find out!

2. You list your ethnicity as “bush”

3. Bees fornicate on your head

4. You have no thumbs

5. You wake up every day and think “goddamn I’m a bush”

6. When someone says “tell me about yourself,” you say, “I’m a bush”

7. You’re always the last one picked for stickball

8. You’re a staunch atheist

9. Whenever someone says “beating around the bush” in your presence, it’s usually followed by an awkward, uncomfortable silence, and then a playful, “lighten up, man! I’m just joshing with you!”

10. No one takes your opinion seriously, unless it’s about mulch

11. People routinely point at you and scream “BUSH”

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