Wel-Kim to my world! bit.ly/HKUebc
— Kim Kardashian (@KimKardashian) April 19, 2012
Just got food poisoning from Taco Bell. I didn't make a run for the border. I made a run for the toilet. #ugh
— Jenny McCarthy (@JennyMcCarthy) April 19, 2012
I'm going to barf
— Kirstie Alley (@kirstiealley) April 19, 2012
I have to pee
— Kendra Wilkinson (@KendraWilkinson) April 19, 2012
I'm hungry and horny. Time to go to the fridge.
— Judah Friedlander (@JudahWorldChamp) April 19, 2012
Sometimes I think I'd like to be good at pottery but then I remember the movie "Ghost," and I'm like, "Forget it."
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) April 19, 2012
Watching DVR'd The Voice. Where did this affected Billie-Holiday-generic-baby-talk style of singing infect the mainstream?
— Andy Richter (@Andy_Richter) April 19, 2012
The violinist on idol is smoking hot !!!
— Rosie O'Donnell (@Rosie) April 19, 2012
I'm old enough to own what I say and I can't be responsible for people's reputations.
— Sharon Osbourne (@MrsSOsbourne) April 19, 2012
If the girl on fire married the boy who lived they could have a baby that could live through fire which would save money on smoke alarms.
— Simon Pegg (@simonpegg) April 19, 2012
CLAP OFF. zzzzzzzZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz
— Joel Madden (@JoelMadden) April 19, 2012
What's your opinion on maxi dresses in the summer? I've never found one which doesn't make me look and feel pregnant.....
— Elizabeth Hurley (@ElizabethHurley) April 19, 2012
Thank you for all your v funny comments re maxi dresses; I get it, men hate them!
— Elizabeth Hurley (@ElizabethHurley) April 19, 2012
It's 3 a.m. and I got up to tweet. My prostate is fine buy my ego might be enlarged.
— Albert Brooks (@AlbertBrooks) April 19, 2012
Must avoid temptation to turn morning shows into Franco-esque performance art.
— Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) April 19, 2012
Waking up at 4am is only cute if you follow it with "I'm on Euro time dahhhhlling"
— Nicole Richie (@nicolerichie) April 19, 2012
My first Instagram post. What do these three dudes have in common? instagr.am/p/Jmk509EH8l/
— Adrian Grenier (@adriangrenier) April 19, 2012
To all the fans concerned about Melissa&Joey will be affected by my baby bump;don't be! We finished Season 2& start 3 after baby arrives!
— Melissa Joan Hart (@MellyJHart) April 19, 2012
Pokemon are so cute. I want me a squirtal, gigglypuff & pica ðŸ˜
— NiC0LE P0LiZZi (@snooki) April 19, 2012
Merp!!!!!
— Deena Nicole Cortese (@DeenaNicoleMTV) April 19, 2012
Trying to cry in peace but some guy came over and started leaning on the car I was in and talking on the phone
— Evan Rachel Wood (@evanrachelwood) April 19, 2012
Hey stupid bimbos just because I give you a compliment doesn't mean I am hitting on you
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) April 19, 2012
I wish just one rapper had the balls to write an entire song about taking a shit in the club.
— Damien Fahey (@DamienFahey) April 19, 2012
If I'm ever a posthumous hologram I hope they give me hair and make me taller.
— moby (@thelittleidiot) April 19, 2012
idk why i would ever try the cinnamon challenge it's so horrible..but i did
— Chloë Grace Moretz (@ChloeGMoretz) April 19, 2012
Takes Juan to know Juan.You can't know him without ever meeting him.
— T.J. Miller (@nottjmiller) April 19, 2012
My pillow keeps purring... twitter.com/rickygervais/s…
— Ricky Gervais (@rickygervais) April 19, 2012
Charlie and Claire had the purest love in the island.No question.he died so she and Aaron could live.they adored each other.
— Dominic Monaghan (@DomsWildThings) April 19, 2012
Bad nights sleep. So many thoughts of Dick Clark. For once, lookin forward 2 getting out of bed so early and sharing stories on my radio shw
— Carson Daly (@carsonjdaly) April 19, 2012
Am I an old for hating the new Gmail format so much? Can we switch it back?
— Kristen Schaal (@kristenschaaled) April 19, 2012
One of my heroes has turned to the dark-side. #whatdoesthispostermean? #whyisntheanimated? #Godcomplex? twitter.com/TaranKillam/st…
— taran killam (@TaranKillam) April 19, 2012
All of you have said some wonderful, meaningful things today. I love all of you! #teambelding
— Dennis Haskins (@mrbelding) April 19, 2012
Trying to imagine a scenario wherein driving with the windows down, blasting the theme song from "Game of Thrones" might be cool.
— Carrie Brownstein (@Carrie_Rachel) April 19, 2012
I bet late at night, when the lights are off and no one is around, Mel Gibson misses yelling at his ex-girlfriend.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) April 19, 2012
How do you get a red wine stain off a baby?
— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) April 19, 2012
Hank and I just ran into Larry King. He's awesome!! Lolol.
— Kendra Wilkinson (@KendraWilkinson) April 19, 2012
I've decided to become more slick! It's going to be my new look!
— boygeorge (@BoyGeorge) April 19, 2012