Lemonteeth twitter.com/TheRealRoseann…
— Roseanne Barr (@TheRealRoseanne) February 9, 2012
My parents just emailed me and told me they went skydiving today.I told them to act more responsibly.Talk about a role reversal.
— Tom Green (@tomgreenlive) February 9, 2012
If there was an app like Shazam, but for people's faces, that told me who I'm talking to and how I know them, I'd use that shit all the time
— Joe Mande (@JoeMande) February 9, 2012
*SPOILER ALERT* We are all going to die eventually.
— Simon Pegg (@simonpegg) February 9, 2012
But for real - not many things are better than when a car pulls around the corner and you get a glimpse of the dog sitting shotgun, upright.
— Theodore F. Leo (@tedleo) February 9, 2012
Jeremy Lin @JLin7 isn't Justin Lin @trailingjohnson , but he definitely is Fast & Furious. #Linsanity
— Ken Jeong (@kenjeong) February 9, 2012
Deep Love RT @HarMarSuperstar: @ericwareheim is my father/brother/ son instagr.am/p/Gxg54SpncQ/
— eric wareheim (@ericwareheim) February 9, 2012
Chris Brown and Rihanna performing at The Grammys ahh shit!! She dropped the restraining order. Can somebody say "make up booty" oh yeah!!
— BILL BELLAMY (@BILLBELLAMY) February 9, 2012
If Chris and Rihanna got back together, would you mind it???
— BILL BELLAMY (@BILLBELLAMY) February 9, 2012
Lights will guide you home...and ignite your bones...and I will try to fix you. #iheartcoldplay
— Ryan Seacrest (@RyanSeacrest) February 9, 2012
From the set of "Transformers: 911" with @thomaslennon and Shia Labeof say.ly/MPN1o0T
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) February 7, 2012
From @Cher "Kathleen pls tweet That i cant get on! Phone keeps going OFF! I hit it & mayb i can send 1 or 2 tweets! SO FKING PISSED! Xxxme!
— Kathy Griffin (@kathygriffin) February 9, 2012
Hi guys! I would love my first cruise to be with you . . . kategosselincruise.com
— Kate Gosselin (@Kateplusmy8) February 9, 2012
@LanaDelRey I don't know what anyone is talking about I LOVE your music! So unique and refreshing! And you look pretty! Keep up it up!
— Heidi Montag (@heidimontag) February 9, 2012
Screw Newt...I'm just going to ask Dr Manhattan if he can take me on a quick trip to Mars...and show me his 3 way split bedroom trick!
— Adrianne Curry (@AdrianneCurry) February 9, 2012
I LOVE this pic of my son doing his first crowd surf!twitpic.com/8hqfrw
— Shanna Moakler (@ShannaMoakler) February 9, 2012
Learning to recognize the good from the bad people in your life is one of the most important things you can do for yourself.
— Ben Savage (@BenSavage) February 9, 2012
omg....judge judy was so good tonight.must have been circa '98
— Belinda Carlisle (@belindaofficial) February 9, 2012
some 1 said the laughing gas (that i will use today at dentist office) is what demi moore was huffing! OMG!
— Roseanne Barr (@TheRealRoseanne) February 9, 2012
Thanks, decided on artificial plant for my mom. Got her one 4' tall, green, stands in a corner in her bedroom. Basically recreated my dad.
— bob saget (@bobsaget) February 9, 2012
Can't believe no one's named their son Arli$$ yet. #dibs
— todd levin (@toddlevin) February 9, 2012
spanx for the sea “@KathieLGifford: All dressed up and in the water we go...@todayshow @klgandhoda twitpic.com/8hqfiqâ€
— hoda kotb (@hodakotb) February 9, 2012
I'll never trust anyone who takes half a cookie and doesn't immediately come back for the rest.
— erinn hayes (@hayeslady) February 9, 2012
Using your headshot in your personals ad is a good way of letting people know you're not famous.
— mileskahn (@mileskahn) February 9, 2012
Awesome! From 1995! I wouldn't want a kid 2 b my accountant, but if one wanted 2 b my lawyer, I'd b totally ok w/ it. youtu.be/EH5gfqC8V6g
— Martha Plimpton (@MarthaPlimpton) February 9, 2012
when my earphones get snagged on something and rip out of my ears, it's so startling and upsetting #sweatingthesmallstuff
— Michael Urie (@michaelurie) February 9, 2012
Travel Tip:Radio Shack is still called Radio Shack in Spanish.
— Rob Huebel (@robhuebel) February 9, 2012
I'm a pig in a wig and I don't give a fig!! Lol!
— boygeorge (@BoyGeorge) February 9, 2012