Dude. Seriously. I love my life. say.ly/eOO1utJ

— Gwyneth Paltrow (@GwynethPaltrow) February 27, 2012

Skeletors wife #RolesForAngelinaJolie

— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) February 27, 2012

It's over! Now Hollywood can go back to normal (lyin, cheatin, backstabbin:).

— Tom Arnold (@TomArnold) February 27, 2012

That #billycrystall KILLED it!Great show even though I am sickLove it Crying and laughing through tears. :) #Oscar2012 #bestoneevee!

— Ricki Lake (@RickiLake) February 27, 2012

Only Billy Crystal can ruin Meryl Strep for me. #oscars #fuckbillycrystal

— rob corddry (@robcorddry) February 27, 2012

Off to vanity fair twitter.com/driverminnie/s…

— Minnie Driver (@driverminnie) February 27, 2012

Obtuse dick jokes! #oscars #tweetroast#fuckbillycrystal

— rob corddry (@robcorddry) February 27, 2012

Can I tweet "Miss Piggy is a cunt?" #oscars #fuckbillycrystal

— rob corddry (@robcorddry) February 27, 2012

Nothing snarky to say about Cirque Soliel. #oscars #fuckbillycrystal

— rob corddry (@robcorddry) February 27, 2012

He's been in the business for 40 years, you think he'd know when the camera was on him! #oscars #fuckbillycrystal

— rob corddry (@robcorddry) February 27, 2012

"45 minute drive to a black person" the only thing Billy Crystal has said that he will get undue shit for #oscars #fuckbillycrystal

— rob corddry (@robcorddry) February 27, 2012

Well check that out, instead of the maids, the french are cleaning up tonight.Refreshing.

— Official Wanda Sykes (@iamwandasykes) February 27, 2012

RT @mattisgrounded: jim rash. national treasure. (@RashisTVUgly) twitter.com/mattisgrounded…

— Thomas Lennon (@thomaslennon) February 27, 2012

I love that black folks lost focus on her winning.They got distracted, "Who's that white man sitting next to Octavia?"

— Official Wanda Sykes (@iamwandasykes) February 27, 2012

Did you outguess me? I got nine of eleven. I was undone by Meryl Streep and "Undefeated."

— Roger Ebert (@ebertchicago) February 27, 2012

It's the 588th Dog Oscars this year.

— Simon Pegg (@simonpegg) February 27, 2012

The Artist taught us what Instagram has been telling us every day: words and mind blowing modern technology are out.

— Whitney Cummings (@WhitneyCummings) February 27, 2012

That dog from Frazier was really good in "The Artist."

— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) February 27, 2012

My wife turned to me during the Oscar telecast & said "You know you have all the qualities of someone who was abandoned as a young child."

— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) February 27, 2012

Damn @JLo #Dress

— Ghostface Killah (@GhostfaceKillah) February 27, 2012

Again, late to the party, BUT...how about presenters cut their BS schitck & let people who win give their full speeches??

— Kate Walsh (@katewalsh) February 27, 2012

I only saw part of the show; here with folks with serious ADD, ran outta Ritalin 10 min in.I tried...

— Bette Midler (@BetteMidler) February 27, 2012

I can't believe it!!I thought for sure it was George or Brad!!! WTF!??!!?I too like The French,but, really!!!

— Bette Midler (@BetteMidler) February 27, 2012

i am not watching oscars becouse i'm afraid i will watch and then rather bedoing something else...

— John Cusack (@johncusack) February 27, 2012

i would like to accpet rob cordysgratitude in t his future oscarspeech for httm

— John Cusack (@johncusack) February 27, 2012

and a BIG SHOUTOUT to Billy Crystal. Thanks for letting be a part of the show and you killed it tonight. #muchlove

— Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) February 27, 2012

Sacha Baron Cohen rules!!!!! #Oscars

— Perez Hilton (@PerezHilton) February 27, 2012

Oh Meryl I love you

— Kat Dennings (@OfficialKat) February 27, 2012

Congratulations to J.Lo and Cam Diaz for igniting no boners just then #Oscars

— Kat Dennings (@OfficialKat) February 27, 2012

And the award for best looking date goes to Chris Pratt!

— chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) February 27, 2012

Loved this years awards! Great talent lots of comedy and tears for the greats whom we have lost that contributed to our world of cinema.

— Goldie Hawn (@goldiehawn) February 27, 2012

Just saw the dog from "The Artist" do coke off Jack Nicholson's sunglasses.

— rob delaney (@robdelaney) February 27, 2012

Hanging with @smokey_robinson at the Elton John Oscar Party! twitpic.com/8p9z5s

— Heidi Klum (@heidiklum) February 27, 2012

I hear the worst, or at least most boring, Academy Awards party this year was the @VanityFair party. It's lost (cont) tl.gd/g57q7j

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) February 27, 2012

Am I the only one who thought Eddie Murphy looked weird?

— Albert Brooks (@AlbertBrooks) February 27, 2012

Heard Somebody Puked On The Steps. Yes

— Wiz Khalifa (@RealWizKhalifa) February 27, 2012

Draped In Chanel

— Wiz Khalifa (@RealWizKhalifa) February 27, 2012

I want Nick Nolte to bite everyone on the red carpet then howl at the sky! #OscarsAreDumb #Drive

— Steve Agee (@steveagee) February 27, 2012

Why is Lyle Lovett nominated for best supporting actress? #OscarsAreDumb #Drive #willow

— Steve Agee (@steveagee) February 27, 2012

Wait, oldman's never been nominated??WTF?!! #OscarsAreDumb

— Steve Agee (@steveagee) February 27, 2012

Yknow what this Oscar ceremony REALLY needs? An offensive moment. Or at least a moment these stiffs will THINK is offensive.

— Kathy Griffin (@kathygriffin) February 27, 2012

Ok, who was the crazy gay next to Sandy Bullock cupping his hands & screaming "Meryl" at the top of his lungs continuously?Hahahahaha

— Kathy Griffin (@kathygriffin) February 27, 2012

R u shittin me? Oprah got a govowners board award?Where the fuck was I? And ps, Steadman is alive?

— Kathy Griffin (@kathygriffin) February 27, 2012

Angie Joliee. A little chubby, or is it me?I mean in the upper arm area...

— Kathy Griffin (@kathygriffin) February 27, 2012

Oscar prediction: 9-11 movies will start winning 20 years from now. And I will be a humorless douchbag about it. #oscars

— rob corddry (@robcorddry) February 27, 2012

261 comments on my Facebook agree: Yes, there was something wrong with the sound during the broadcast.

— Roger Ebert (@ebertchicago) February 27, 2012

Thank you Sir Elton John for such a lovely night! Now to Vanity Fair. I love all the glitz & glam of the oscars & celebrating such talent!

— Miley Ray Cyrus (@MileyCyrus) February 27, 2012

I think biscuits and gravy are my favorite thing. I love that I made Oscar night my cheat day

— Miley Ray Cyrus (@MileyCyrus) February 26, 2012

The Dictator is awesome! Seascrest looks so pissed!!

— Carson Daly (@carsonjdaly) February 27, 2012

From vanity fair twitter.com/realcherylhine…

— cheryl hines (@realcherylhines) February 27, 2012

Beckhams in the house looking good

— Jackie Collins (@jackiejcollins) February 27, 2012

And forever young Tom cruise

— Jackie Collins (@jackiejcollins) February 27, 2012

Paltrow just a arrived, Tall and tanned

— Jackie Collins (@jackiejcollins) February 27, 2012

Chris Martin just joined gwyneth

— Jackie Collins (@jackiejcollins) February 27, 2012

Just told Clare Danes how Much Iloved Homefront

— Jackie Collins (@jackiejcollins) February 27, 2012

Of all the Oscar people I've met tonight this is my favorite! @abby_lee_millersay.ly/RFB1uvq

— Lance Bass (@LanceBass) February 27, 2012

Ryan Seacrest cried tonight :*(

— Andy Milonakis (@AndyMilonakis) February 27, 2012

. @ryanseacrest, you are a Pro.

— Kristen Bell(@IMKristenBell) February 27, 2012

I spy J-Lo's aureole! It's not gonna get more exciting than this tonight.

— Andy Cohen (@BravoAndy) February 27, 2012

Pose it Angelina! #workit #sashayshauntay #Oscars

— Andy Cohen (@BravoAndy) February 27, 2012

Cruise looks 25. How the eff does he do it?!?!?! #Oscars

— Andy Cohen (@BravoAndy) February 27, 2012

I'm pretty sure I fell in love w/ Tim Tebow at the Vanity Fair party. Can't figure out why he wasn't into me. Hmmm.

— Andy Cohen (@BravoAndy) February 27, 2012

Why is there a nun on the red carpet?

— Elizabeth Banks (@ElizabethBanks) February 27, 2012

@seth_rogen Loved your jokes about me! Wish I was there to see the audience reaction?

— Brett Ratner (@BrettRatner) February 26, 2012

Lily Collins, Star of my next produced effort, #MirrorMirror! say.ly/mGA1uw6

— Brett Ratner (@BrettRatner) February 27, 2012

If a bomb had dropped on party @vanity fair Hollywood would be decimated , so many faces mostly pretty some hideous!

— Joan Collins (@joancollinsobe) February 27, 2012

Bad news: Angelina Jolie's arms just snapped off at the Vanity Fair party. Twizzler-width streams of her blood trickled onto the crudités.

— Julie Klausner (@julieklausner) February 27, 2012

This year, Christopher Plummer for Beginners, next year, Christopher Plummer for Dummies.

— Scott Aukerman (@ScottAukerman) February 27, 2012

Getting ready for Vanity Fair Oscar party x vb yfrog.com/g0lm1yej

— Victoria Beckham (@victoriabeckham) February 27, 2012

Actors are assholes

— Roseanne Barr (@TheRealRoseanne) February 27, 2012

Highlight of my.life dancing with Madonna. Saw scarlet j michael jordan

— Roseanne Barr (@TheRealRoseanne) February 27, 2012

Saw Ashton k p Cruz m driver jack n stars galore. Fun fun fun

— Roseanne Barr (@TheRealRoseanne) February 27, 2012

Another shot with this 67' beauty... Takes me back... Fun party, nice to unwind after a long day yfrog.com/oegusvrj

— Mario Lopez (@MarioLopezExtra) February 27, 2012

Last night was a lot of fun! Getting up this morning... Not so much fun. Today my voice sounds like a combo of Don Corleone & Nick Nolte

— Mario Lopez (@MarioLopezExtra) February 27, 2012

The perils of a white tuxedo jacket. I was mistaken for a waiter twice at the Governors Ball. #fashionmalfunction

— Paul Feig (@paulfeig) February 27, 2012

Best night ever

— Serena Williams (@serenawilliams) February 27, 2012

I assume you're awake this early because you also kept seeing Angelina Jolie scurrying along your bedroom ceiling?

— Dan Harmon (@danharmon) February 27, 2012

Jane Fonda and @anniehyepark talk showbiz at #vanityfair say.ly/ooz1ux4

— Brett Ratner (@BrettRatner) February 27, 2012

I can't stop thinking about Angelina Jolie standing with her leg out

— mary lynn rajskub (@rajskub) February 27, 2012

Just got back from various Oscar parties. It's 6 AM in LA. Consensus: best-produced Oscar show ever. No lawyers, managers or agents thanked.

— Bret Easton Ellis (@BretEastonEllis) February 27, 2012

Who am I wearing? I"m wearing consciousness

— RuPaul (@RuPaul) February 27, 2012

What did everyone think of the Oscars last night? I was tearing up during Octavia and Meryl's speeches. Well deserved!

— Ramona Singer (@ramonasinger) February 27, 2012

SOOOOOOOO tired (-: Literally had 45 mins sleep last night. Did Oscar red carpet, went to show, then to Governors Ball party, up early4 CBS!

— Nancy O'Dell (@NancyODell) February 27, 2012

Seems I missed some fun last night with some nipple and legs. Gotta catch up on my TiVo today and figure out what happened.

— Melissa Joan Hart (@MellyJHart) February 27, 2012

Oscars!!! @pietrinooo @valemicchetti say.ly/xUr1uww

— Sofia Vergara (@SofiaVergara) February 27, 2012

Only way to be at the Oscars: Be nominated-or Elton John's Viewing party... :)

— ian somerhalder (@iansomerhalder) February 27, 2012

Has anyone used the Oscars headline "Mr. Sunday Night" yet? What about "Oscaryze This"? Can I call dibs?

— todd levin (@toddlevin) February 27, 2012

Do you think The Cloon turns to Kiebler and says, "Your services are no longer required."#jkjk

— Kay Cannon (@KayKayCannon) February 27, 2012

Christian Bale just murdered a valet guy. #PostOscars

— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) February 27, 2012

I can't believe how many of these gay guys have wives! #Oscars

— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) February 27, 2012

Oh boy. Cinderella really turned into a pumpkin. Sorry @KristoferBucklelockerz.com/s/187653070

— Kelly Ripa (@KellyRipa) February 27, 2012

Love @chrisrock no matter where or what he's doin #oscars

— Jeffrey Ross (@realjeffreyross) February 27, 2012

Did Glen Close play Conan O'Brien? #oscars

— Jeffrey Ross (@realjeffreyross) February 27, 2012

I wish this ceremony was also a silent film. #oscars

— Jeffrey Ross (@realjeffreyross) February 27, 2012

Angelina Jolie's leg was much more uncomfortable for me than Janet's nipple. #maliceofforethought

— Thomas Lennon (@thomaslennon) February 27, 2012

OH MY GOD! The Indian keyboardist at the Oscars is my absolute favorite! Feel it man! Feel it!

— taran killam (@TaranKillam) February 27, 2012

Meryl Streep's acceptance speech was exactly @elliottdotabby's impression of her. "Oh come on!"

— taran killam (@TaranKillam) February 27, 2012

S/O to Elton John, thanks so much for a great evening! Shout out Mehcad Brooks, 1 kool dude!

— Shawn Stockman (@shawnstockman) February 27, 2012

There sure are a lot of snobby actors in this biz!!!

— Shawn Stockman (@shawnstockman) February 27, 2012

My very tired co-host for The Oscar Backstage Pass @CameronMathison twitpic.com/8pa6r7

— Sherri Shepherd (@SherriEShepherd) February 27, 2012

Watching @abc bounce around from #oscars party to party- it's sorta sad. Lotta people trying soooo hard...

— Carson Daly (@carsonjdaly) February 27, 2012

Oscars! Oscars! My feet are cold, my mom is snoring and I can't fall asleep. Hollywood!

— erinn hayes (@hayeslady) February 27, 2012

Well...I didn't win an Oscar. Which makes perfect sense considering I've never been in a movie and I wasn't nominated.

— Adam Levine (@adamlevine) February 27, 2012

(Kind of tacky of Clooney's date to dress as an Oscar)

— Dan Harmon (@danharmon) February 27, 2012

I got a kiss from one of the hottestchicks in Hollywood! instagr.am/p/HgAqlXAb7p/

— Kelly Osbourne (@MissKellyO) February 27, 2012

Thank you Elton tonight was amazing! instagr.am/p/HgAQCSAb7m/

— Kelly Osbourne (@MissKellyO) February 27, 2012

Good luck at the Oscars, Bret McKenzie! Either way, your song is the best song.

— Kristen Schaal (@kristenschaaled) February 26, 2012

Congrats to my homie Bret for only winning an motherflippin' academy award tonight. #legend

— Arj Barker (@arjbarker) February 27, 2012

“@ezraklein: And the Oscar for best Oscar presenter goes to Chris Rock.” I agree Ezra!

— Oprah Winfrey (@Oprah) February 27, 2012

Such a fun night...so tempted to fall asleep in gown and make up...but nooooooo #needhelpx x

— Lisa Vanderpump (@LisaVanderpump) February 27, 2012

Thanks AU, thanks Montgomery, thanks home state.....thanks family!

— octavia spencer (@octaviaspencer) February 26, 2012

LOVE the minority representation at the #oscars, but what does it say that the only Asian face was on the violinist? #ReachHigher

— Daniel Dae Kim (@danieldaekim) February 27, 2012

Angelina Jolie's right leg has it's own twitter account.Even the most dead inside must admit that's pretty funny.

— Cheyenne Jackson (@cheyennejackson) February 27, 2012

The Descendants is a wonderful film that asks us to believe that someone would ever cheat on George Clooney with Matthew Lillard.

— Richard Dreyfuss (@RichardDreyfuss) February 25, 2012

Loser. twitter.com/MatthewLillard…

— matthew lillard (@MatthewLillard) February 27, 2012