Jennifer Love Hewitt’s Salacious Debut In “The Client List”

“The Client List” — the Lifetime TV show starring Jennifer Love Hewitt about a down-on-her-luck lady who finds work at an upscale massage parlor that specializes in, er, happy endings — made its grand debut tonight. Herewith, the sexiest, most ridiculous moments from the hour-long premiere for your viewing enjoyment.

For those who can’t watch the above video for whatever reason, here’s a quick summary:

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“Hey old friend I just ran into! I’m poor, need a job. Hey, how do u have such a nice car?”

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“GURL I have the BEST job, tips are great: the harder I work, the bigger they get!” (actual quote)

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“I can haz job here?”

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“You’re Hired!”

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“I don’t do that.”

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“Well you really should if you want to make any money.”

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“I ain’t doin’ that.”

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“You don’t have to. 90% of the time this is a classy massage parlor. The other 10% of men who get happy endings are on our Client List, duh.”

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“O shit my husband left me.”

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“Sooo… about those sex acts I said I wouldn’t perform…”

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~music similar to bow-chicka-wow-wow~

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“Oh hai boyz!”

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“Not cool, u guyz. Not cool.”

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If this seems familiar to some, you’re right: this was originally a Lifetime movie that premiered two years ago but the network liked the concept so much they brought it back as a series. …I know!

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