Tan mom being removed from #howard by the NYPD
In case you didn’t hear, Howard Stern had a massive A-list rager for his 60th birthday celebration.
1. While there were a ton of Stern show regulars in attendance…
2. It was definitely an “A-list” event.
3. The red carpet was packed with so many of Howard’s friends that comedic legends were giving interviews almost on top of each other.
4. It was kind of a madhouse…
5. …but it didn’t distract from the mood. Just ask ultimate ’90s couple Donnie Wahlberg and Jenny McCarthy!
Look how much fun they are having. THE MOST FUN.
6. Plus, even Tracy Morgan doing this on the carpet was nothing compared with the inside.
7. The venue was like a crazy party/concert/radio show hybrid. Howard and Robin sat on one side of the stage with a couch for interviews…
8. And the rest of the stage was used for the many tributes and musical acts.
9. The important folks were seated downstairs.
10. Meanwhile, the Wack Pack lined both sides of the theater’s balcony sections.
And the rest of us sat in the main balcony where it was basically a giant party.
11. Once seated, you never even had to get up: Women in hot pants and referee shirts served free beer to everyone all night long.
It may or may not have been a contributing factor to how insanely rowdy the crowd was.
12. Jimmy Kimmel was host for the night.
13. Louis CK told a story* about Howard saving him from drowning in a pool at Boston University.
A very fake story that ended with “and then he came on my face.”
14. Bryan Cranston dropped by to say that Howard is the one who knocks.
15. Joan Rivers and Jeff Ross roasted Howard to kick off the night.
16. Tan Mom showed up.
17. She fell down on the red carpet…
19. …made a failed attempt at singing “Happy Birthday” in up high in the balcony…
(She almost fell over too many times to count.)
20. …and was escorted out soon after the show began.
21. But not before Joan Rivers announced to the crowd that her daughter “is the only one who wishes her mom was Casey Anthony.”
22. Speaking of Rosie! She buried the hatchet with Howard, sang a song, and exclaimed, “Pumpkin Head loves you!”
She even sang, “If he were a girl we’d make lesbian love.” Video here.
23. David Letterman and Howard had a rousing interview that was surely legendary (but barely audible over the loud crowd).
Don’t they realize Dave is a legend and that some quality programming is happening here??!?!??! At least Mark McGrath got it.
24. Whoopi Goldberg talked about her “vape pen that makes me very happy”…
25. …and when asked by Howard how she felt about that fact, Barbara Walters smiled and gave a thumbs up.
There is no photo evidence of this exchange happening but we saw it with our own eyes. Magic.
26. Both Seth Meyers and Jimmy Fallon came out to pay tribute to Howard.
27. Sarah Silverman and Natalie Maines sang “Stop the Clock.”
Listen to it here.
28. Chelsea Handler and Justin Theroux talked about …Jennifer Aniston, probably?
What else is there for them to talk about?
29. Adam Levine paid tribute with a killer rendition of Prince’s “Purple Rain.”
30. and John Mayer shredded to Bob Dylan’s “Like a Rolling Stone.”
31. And during John Mayer’s set, Robert Downey Jr. took a photo with Johnny Knoxville and Tracy Morgan.
32. Lena Dunham was there too.
She gave Howard one of the best roasts of the night by responding to when he said she looked like Jonah Hill and that she “should be intimidated” because her boyfriend could be getting hotter women? She called him a caricature of a female Jewish horse and responded to the Jonah Hill quip with, “No, I’m not intimidated. My boyfriend is a HUGE Moneyball fan.”
33. She fanned out over Robert Downey Jr.
(As any right-minded human would, obviously.)
34. And sat next to Jemima Kirke — so it was basically Girls IRL.
35. Steven Tyler and Heidi Klum did this.
36. Beth Stern led the crowd in singing “Happy Birthday” to Howard.
37. Speaking of Beth: She had three outfit changes throughout the night.
At least. There could have been more!
38. Dave Grohl played both “Everlong” AND “My Hero.”
40. Lisa Lampanelli debuted a new ‘do.
41. The guys from The League were there.
42. Sarah Silverman and Sandra Bernhard took a photo together.
43. Chris Christie took a minute away from his gubernatorial duties to introduce a treasure from his home state of New Jersey…
44. Bon. Fucking. Jovi.
45. Maria Menounos interviewed Howard.
46. Whitney Cummings and Katie Couric rocked the hell out when Train played “Drive By.”
47. Fred Armisen sang poorly to Howard.
And in fairness to Fred, he performed poorly on purpose.
48. Jewel sang “Silver Nickels & Golden Dimes” after calling out the loud and shouty crowd.