Hotties Of The Super Bowl

If you’re like me, you know absolutely nothing about either team that’s playing in the Super Bowl this year, but you’re going to watch anyway. With that in mind, here are all the men you should plan on staring at come Sunday because they are fine as hell.

2. Wes Welker: “Most Likely To Be Featured On A Pin-Up Calendar”

3. Niko Koutouvides: “Most Likely To Have A Greek Heritage”

4. Deion Branch: “Happiest”

5. Julian Edelman:” Most Likely To Have Recently Appeared On America’s Next Top Model”

6. Tiquan Underwood: “Most Likely To Love The Movie Friday”

7. Stephen Gostkowski: “Most Likely To Be Cute, But Ultimately Boring In Bed”

8. Aaron Hernandez: “Most Likely To Get Your Face Tattooed On His Body”

9. Zoltan Mesko: “Most Likely To Speak Five Different Langauges”

10. Devin McCourty: “Most Likely To Be On Time To Class”

11. Danny Woodhead: “Most Likely To Hackey Sack”

12. Nate Solder: “Most Likely To Look More Like A Soccer Player Than A Football Player”

13. Chad Ochocinco: “Most Likely To Have Starred In His Own VH1 Dating Reality Series”

14. Rob Gronkowski: “Most Likely To Be Affectionately Nicknamed ‘Gronk’”

15. Nick McDonald: “Most Nordic-Looking”

16. Kyle Arrington: “Most Swag”

17. Rob Ninkovich: “Most Likely to Grow An Unfortunate-Looking Beard”

18. Brian Hoyer: “Best Jazz Hands”

19. Matthew Slater: “Best Glasses”

20. Dan Connolly: “Most Likely To Dress Up As Santa Claus At Your Holiday Party”

21. Brian Waters: “Most Likely To Give You A Pep Talk”

22. Ryan Mallett: “Most Questionable Tattoos”

23. Donald Thomas: “Most Likely To Have Sat Next To Me During An 8am Class In College”

(true story)

24. Sebastian Vollmer: “Most Likely To Offer Up A Mustache Ride”

25. Tom Brady: “Most Likely To Knock Up Gisele”

27. Steve Weatherford: “Most Likely To Spend Wayyyy Too Much Time At The Gym”

I’m sorry, I meant the fucking gym.

28. Prince Amukamara: “Best Arms”

29. Jake Ballard: “Most Likely To Wait For You At The Top Of The Empire State Building”

30. Aaron Ross: “Most Likely To Wear A Helmet As A Hat”

31. Mark Herzlich: “Most Likely To Attend A Gathering Of The Juggalos”

32. Mario Manningham: “Haziest”

33. Mathias Kiwanuka: “Best Smile”

34. Jimmy Kennedy: “Most Likely To Work At McDonalds”

35. David Carr: “Most Likely To Be Confused For A Jonas Brother And/Or A New York Times Journalist”

36. Justin Tuck: “Best Facial Expressions”

37. Deon Grant: “Most Confident”

38. Ramses Barden: “Tallest”

39. Brandon Jacobs: “Most Likely To Be Photographed Inside Of Their Super Nice House”

40. Kenny Phillips: “Best Sense Of Humor”

41. Antrel Rolle: “Best Use Of A Backwards Hat”

42. Eli Manning: “Most Difficult To Find Hot Photos Of On The Internet”

43. Victor Cruz: “Best Headwear”

44. Zak DeOssie: “Most Surprised”

45. Will Blackmon: “Most Likely To Not Be Messing With You”

46. Michael Boley: “Most Likely To Think Visors Are Actually Cool”

47. Jerrel Jeringan: “Fiercest”

48. Travis Beckum: “Preppiest”

49. Tyler Sash: “Most Likely To Still Be Listening To Dashboard Confessional”

50. Justin Trattou: “Best Hair”

51. Chris Canty: “Most Blazin’ Guns”

52. Osi Umenyiora: “Most Thoughtful”

53. Lawrence Tynes: “Most Likely To Be Really, Really Good At Disco Dancing”

54. Devin Thomas: “Most Likely To Give You The Bedroom Eyes”

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