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George Clooney’s Revenge On Tina Fey And Amy Poehler Involves Fruit Baskets And Matt Damon

And that’s only phase one of his plan.

Today at a SiriusXM Town Hall event with the cast of The Monuments Men, Clooney revealed that he has already completed phase one of his prank rebuttal for the jokes made about him at the Golden Globes. Apparently Matt Damon was unwillingly dragged into it — here they tell the story:

Jess Cagle, moderator: You said you said that you were going to get even with [Tina Fey].

George Clooney: I’ve already started the ball rolling. I used Matt [Damon], sorry.

Matt Damon: Okay. Just a little background. I’m sitting at my house, minding my own business and the biggest two fruit baskets you’ve ever seen in your life show up at my house. They have envelopes attached and one says “Letter Number One” and “Letter Number Two.” I open letter number one. Now they made some jokes about me at the Golden Globes.

GC: They called you a garbage man.

MD: Yeah, they called me a garbage man or something. So I open the thing and it says “Dear Matt” and you know, I did episodes of 30 Rock with Tina and I did SNL with her way back when. She says in this letter, “I thought you of all people could take a joke but listen, we’re both really sorry…” and it’s this long apology letter signed “Tina and Amy.” And then I go to letter number two and it says, “If my chance you didn’t send us that letter and it was from George Clooney — please let him know that you gotta get up a little earlier in the day to fool a couple girls like us.”

GC: She said “We’re grown-ass comedians.”

MD: We’re grown-ass comedians.

GC: Step up your game.

MD: My wife’s going “What is going on? These two things take up literally our entire kitchen. And I said …George got stationary with my name on it.”

GC: I sent her a letter saying, “Dear Tina, listen, it’s from Matt, and it just says, “look, it sounds hypocritical because I laughed at the jokes about George and Leo, but you know, that’s sort of what people think about them. But when you called me a garbage man, it just seemed like low hanging fruit, it just seemed like an easy joke. And you know, I don’t want an apology, I don’t want anything else, I just want you to know that my kid now calls me the garbage man.”

MD: That’s so brutal.

GC: So then she said, you know, “Step it up.” So I wrote Matt and told him what I’m doing next. And I just said, that’s the appetizer and what’s coming now, the main course, it’s pretty brutal.

MD: I’m out of the way of all of this.

GC: I know, he’s out now. He’s out. But this was one where I actually, I have it in my hotel room set, and I’ve taken some pictures and stuff, and I was sitting there and I’m like, if I do this, this is downright dirty. I actually have to think if I should actually do it.

JC: Wow, that must be bad.

GC: Yeah, it’s bad.

MD: It will take him all of five seconds to think about it.

GC: I already sent them.

3. Here’s their joke about George:

 

5. Listen to the whole clip below:

View this embed ›

The Town Hall will air on SiriusXM’s Entertainment Weekly Radio on Friday at 1:00 pm ET.

7. UPDATE 3/6: Matt went on to the Late Show and read the actual letter.

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