11 Things Megan Fox Didn’t Know About David Silver When She First Met Brian Austin Green

It must be weird to be married to an actor who so many teenage girls fawned over for years.

In the latest edition of Cosmopoltian Magazine, Megan Fox is quoted as saying:

“I didn’t know who he was. I was too young for ‘Beverly Hills, 90210,’ but the first time I saw him, I got butterflies. And the first time he casually touched me? There was so much electricity. I truly feel like he’s my soul mate. We’ve had obstacles, and we’ve overcome them. I don’t want to sound corny or cliché, but I do believe that we are destined to live this part of our lives together.”

Seriously, girl? Here are 10 things you should have known about your boy that all of America’s female television viewers already knew:

1. David Silver can sing a ’90s ballad like no other.

Video available at: http://youtube.com/watch?v=aZe8bcsTflU.

Can anybody you know play the keyboard, sing, and spin around like that at once? Didn’t think so.

2. He had a short-lived rap career…

Video available at: http://youtube.com/watch?v=aXGYDVKNCd4.

(But didn’t everyone in the ’90s?)

3. …and many failed attempts at a record deal.

Video available at: http://youtube.com/watch?v=mB7Ztq16A7M.

4. David Silver won a High School dance competition

Video available at: http://youtube.com/watch?v=WS1U9dzEAwk.

5. …and had his own signature shoulder dance.

Video available at: http://youtube.com/watch?v=2EY4ZqQ4L18.

So ’90s.

6. Later on, David Silver would go on to write a condom jingle.

Video available at: http://youtube.com/watch?v=kalnSPSft2E.

Not a career high point.

7. At one point, David Silver was addicted to speed.

Video available at: http://youtube.com/watch?v=Vms6X-Kf3Co.

Jessie Spano style!

8. David Silver wanted to have sex with Donna Martin but she said no, so…

Video available at: http://youtube.com/watch?v=S2hTY4z--vI.

9. David Silver cheated on Donna Martin…

Video available at: http://youtube.com/watch?v=-U9VMKY5AEo.

10. and later had sex with Kelly Kapowski!

Video available at: http://youtube.com/watch?v=E9MxJ0qP4SU.

Nobody tell Zach Morris about this, okay?

11. But in the end, he married Donna anyway.

Video available at: http://youtube.com/watch?v=yriCAdKIQ2w.

Because they were soul-mates! Or something.

All of that being said…

Good luck, you crazy kids!