Digging your hands into a bag of rice/lentils/etc.
Digging your hands into a bag of rice/lentils/etc.
“Is this dish carbon-free?” The next diet craziness, probably.
The last girls sounds like she’s getting strangled. Glasses dude was the closest, I think.
And to be fair, she doesn’t look that different. It’s still recognizably her.
People are saying Heidu Klum and Kristin Chenoweth. I think it’s more the lovechild of Jessica Simpson and Britney.
You know, I used to like this guy until I heard about all his racist, misogynistic, and homophobic jokes. Shame that he’s a bit of a knob in real life.
That Lemur GIF is everything!!
That is clearly Raphael, the red TMNT. And “Reptar”?!?!? Gaaah!
Mitch, why are they doing this, the birds?
FYI it’s actually “colly birds”, not “calling birds”. That’s an egg-corn. “Colly” means dark-colored, or black. So a colly bird is a black bird.
I honestly don’t understand how anyone can have unread messages in the triple digits. Do you subscribe to every single newsletter in the world? Do you run Beyonce’s schedule? Do you reply once a year in bulk? What?
Or flush. Then again, he didn’t actually pee, either.
“Florida Republican Congressman holds men-only fundraiser” The entrance is through the stalls at the airport men’s bathroom. Tap three times with your foot for admission.
This one’s from earlier than 2014, and is more about the history of music in the twentieth century, but I would strong recommend “The Rest is Noise” by the New Yorker’s music critic Alex Ross. It’s a rather large tome, but a fantastic read.
You got: Slammin’ Ham Scarlet
“Your sexual aura and charisma is among the most powerful and alluring. Be careful with all the admirers who fall madly in love with you. Try not to break their hearts too badly.”
They could have just photoshopped the image and tweeted it. There was absolutely nothing gained by actually entering the national park. What a disrespectful and selfish move!
Love the Nguyen joke. Very subtle.
I cannot get prescription sunglasses because I’m horrible when it comes to not losing sunglasses. They always get left in restaurants, cars, friends’ houses, etc. I’m not absent minded at all, in fact I never lose or misplace my regular glasses, but when it comes to sunglasses, they rarely last for more than a month. So I just buy crappy ones and use contacts on days when I need to wear them.
Don’t forget the annoying red dents you get in the bridge of your nose if you don’t take them off for a long time. Or the involuntary two-second freak-out you get when you wake up in the morning and realize you fell asleep with them on (“oh shit, oh shit, did I irreversibly bend or break the frames, did I, did I, oh god why are frames so expensive, and why do I keep doing this, this is the millionth time, god i’m so stupid, oh it’s okay, it’s not damaged, whew”) . Joy.
Cut down on your calorie intake for the five days before a party, so that you can gorge to your heart’s content at the actual gathering. These things are once a year. You can even exercise for an additional half hour per session for the month afterward. What’s the point if you can’t enjoy yourself with a cornucopia of holiday staples?
Psh. This just means we’re more fun. Cannonbaaallll!!
I’m really surprised this article did not mention the French Notre Dame de Paris musical. It would have been an apt comparison.
It was gold. As was the Serial bit. Dude’s legit funny.
Re: #17 It’s a pun on the phrase “uncanny valley”.
Uncanny: Unsettling, creepy Uncanny valley is a term that refers to a phenomenon that occurs when people are shown artificial representations of humans (CGI humans for example, or even robots). If you were to show real people the “faces” of 100 artificial humans, one after another, each representation more realistic than the previous one, it turns out most people like and even admire the increasingly realistic representations - up to a point. After that point (let’s call it point number 1), the representations become realistic enough to be almost human, but not quite. This instantly creates a feeling of “hmmm, something’s not quite right. this is just a little bit off” in the observers, and makes them feel creeped out or repulsed by what they’re looking at. But this feeling is relatively short-lived, because as you keep increasing the realistic-ness of the images you show, there is a second point (let’s call it point number 2) after which the observers don’t feel scared or disgusted by the images you show them anymore, because they feel they’re “pretty much human”. So, if you were to to chart people’s emotional reactions for these 100 images, starting with the least realistic image and making your way to the most realistic one, the graph would start out as increasingly positive, but would dip instantly and dramatically between Points number 1 and 2, and then go right back up again. This dip is called the “uncanny valley”. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uncanny_valley This is an important factor in robotics. Designers and engineers who want to create household service robots, for example, want these robots to be well-received and well-liked by the consumer. So, the principle of the uncanny valley tells us that if these scientists want the robot to be a hit, they should design them in a way that is either 100% human (basically impossible today unless we make some major breakthroughs), or cartoonishly human. Anything that is realistic-but-not-quite-real (i.e. anything that falls into the uncanny valley) will just creep people out. Whew! So going back to the joke, the story is about a robot valet (i.e. a robotic parking attendant), and the story is titled “uncanny valet”. Re: #18 “Rack your brains” means to think very hard about something. The expression comes from medieaval torture racks, which were devices where criminals would be placed and tortured by stretching their arms and legs. This was called “racking”. So “rack your brains” means thinking about something so hard that it “tortures” your brain. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rack_(torture) Going back to the picture, it’s a picture of brains inside tupperware containers that are placed on a refrigerator shelf (or a refrigerator rack). So the person literally “racked” (i.e. put on a rack) their brains.
Hydrophobic nanoparticle coating is certainly not “fake”. Watch the following for an explanation:
It is certainly the most touching, but I’d argue that the human memory reader is far more awe-inspiring, and even a little scary. The stuff of science fiction films. What a time to be alive! :)
The look of gratitude on #7 is really moving.
It’s “exploration” when you keep it to yourself. It’s “molestation” when you do it to others. It’s “predation” when you do it those who are so young that they don’t even understand what’s happening. And it’s “obfuscation” when you try to chalk it up to childish antics, and try to divert attention with a tangentially related story of social inequity.
You’re not doing anything wrong, Frank. Keep using soap, just not the antibacterial kind. If water was enough for anything, soap wouldn’t have been invented.
Go away, pervert. To prison. And stay there.
Donner is German for thunder. Donder is Dutch.
Blitzen is “to flash” in German, “lightning” in Dutch.
Donner is German for “thunder”. Blitzen is “to flash”. A lot of Americans are of German origin, which might explain how the shift occurred in the first place. (Then again, maybe it’s as simple as Donner being easier to pronounce)
This started out hilarious, then it just got sad. Granted, this column is probably the Indian Jerry- Springer-meets-Dear-Abby, but there’s a kernel of truth in those letters. No wonder issues of sex and gender are so screwed up in every society. People are so clueless when it comes to their own bodies, let alone their partner’s.
Long term sustained friction against grommets/eyelets will “saw” away (low end) laces.
This is a problem that will solve itself.
I made the mistake of watching this through a Buzzfeed partner’s website (ebaumsworld) a day or so ago. Yikes. The comments section was as friendly as a Klan meeting. People who foam at the mouth with hatred and want to murder the actors in the video, and misogynistic/homophobic slurs flying left and right for pages and pages of comments. Unreal.