1. You look, walk, and sound like everyone else.
#YOLO #LOLNOTREALLYTHO #BRAINS4DINNER
2. You’re often part of lumbering, slow-moving crowds.
3. You swarm en masse to loud, droning noises.
Things that zombies are naturally attracted to:
1) Delicious people.
2) Hella sick dubstep parties.
3) WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB
4. You go out of your way to eat “organic” food.
Yeah, you know who else only eats “organic” food? THE UNDEAD HORDES. There’s not a lot more organic than your, er, internal organs.
5. You can’t tear yourself away from loud, obnoxious spectacles.
Fun fact: even the walking dead are apathetic about paying nine dollars more for 3D.
6. You suffer from achy joints and stiff, lifeless limbs.
Hush, now. It’s been a long day of aimlessly staggering and eating brains. Kick back, put on a little Enya, and do you for a little bit. You undead freak.
7. You’re lethargic, unmotivated, and say things like, “I’m just not myself until I’ve had my coffee.”
What do zombies crave almost as much as tasty human flesh? Pumpkin Spice Lattes. Mm-mmm.