11 Outrageous And Bizarre Texts From Mom

Mom may not the best when it comes to texting, but she’s always good for a laugh and she’s always been there for you. Even if it’s with a bizarre message.

1.
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“Dad and i are listening to all our old beaste boy cd’s. So sad.”
“You have a lot of beastie boy albums?”
“What do u think? did u know MCA died today. Or maybe it was MC Hammer?”
“Haha. Oh mom.”
“Just trying to stay hep.”
“Is hep the old people term for hip?”

2.
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“Hi Honey how was your day? 8======D”
“WTF MOM! WHY’D YOU TYPE A PENIS EMOTICON!?!?!”
“I don’t know what you mean 8=====D is an alien smiley face”
“No it’s not it’s a penis. Who told you that?”
“Well I saw it in some of your brothers texts to his girlfriend and when I asked he said it was an alien. Wait so 8======D~ {()} isn’t an alien going on a ship?”
“…No Mom it isn’t”

3.
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“Please stop changing the google logo so much. I like the original one.”
“Mom I don’t change the logo. Google changes it.”
“on my computer. You don’t run the google?”
“If I did I wouldn’t be driving a 2004 ford.”

4.
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“Mom stop you are not funny. You never make jokes.”
“I made you.”

5.
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“What do u make your jello shoots in?”
“why?”
“I need to try to make vitamin shooters.”

6.
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“Yeah I guess so… what’s up?”
“Notta just said good mornin 3 times and u didnt answer so i thot of a way that u would”
“ok then good morning.”
“I dreamed u were in prison and all the men raped u because they liked ur mustache.”

7.
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“Would you wear fake eyelashes on a red eye flight?”
“No why would you do that!? Haha.”

8.
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“Just got off the phone with your brother. He said you just gave him a boner.”
“Ew mom WTF? That’s sick. Why would u say that?”
“boner Amanda.
l o a n”
“Wow mom. You need to learn to text. Yes I gave him $600.”
“boner”

9.
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“Your great aunt just passed away LOL.”
“Why is that funny?”
“It’s not funny David! Wht do you mean?”
“Mom lol means laughing out loud!”
“Ohmy goodness!! I sent that to everyone I thought it meant lots of love. I have to call everyone back oh god.”

10.
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“He broke my heart. I donno what I’m going to do. I am ruined. I need advice mom.”
“Honey, I’m going to tell you what my mom always told me: If a man breaks your heart, fuck his best friend.”
“Nana said that?”

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