Top 10 Most-Complained-About Books In 2009

The American Library Association has released their list of the books most challenged by parents in 2009. Apparently parents still think that 1) their kids don't watch television; 2) their kids actually use libraries; and 3) their kids can READ. Of course Twilight makes the list, but surprisingly not because of the shittacular writing.

• 1. ttyl, ttfn, l8r, g8r (series), by Lauren Myracle

  

  Reasons: Nudity, Sexually Explicit, Offensive Language, Unsuited to Age Group, Drugs. (Let's pretend for a second that parents actually understand ANY of the acronyms or abbreviations in this thing.)

• 2. “And Tango Makes Three” by Peter Parnell and Justin Richardson

  

  Reasons: Homosexuality. (Fear the homosexual penguins, for they are here for your children.)

• 3. “The Perks of Being A Wallflower,” by Stephen Chbosky

  

  Reasons: Homosexuality, Sexually Explicit, Anti-Family, Offensive Language, Religious Viewpoint, Unsuited to Age Group, Drugs, Suicide.

• 4. “To Kill A Mockingbird,” by Harper Lee

  

  Reasons: Racism, Offensive Language, Unsuited to Age Group. (Unless your kids don't watch the news or, I don't know, INTERACT WITH ANY OTHER HUMAN BEINGS, they've heard/seen worse on the best days.)

• 5. Twilight (series) by Stephenie Meyer

  

  Reasons: Sexually Explicit, Religious Viewpoint, Unsuited to Age Group. (This book should be burned in the fiery pits of hell, but because of the atrocious writing, not because the characters wait until getting married before bumping uglies.)

• 6. “Catcher in the Rye,” by J.D. Salinger

  

  Reasons: Sexually Explicit, Offensive Language, Unsuited to Age Group.

• 7. “My Sister’s Keeper,” by Jodi Picoult

  

  Reasons: Sexism, Homosexuality, Sexually Explicit, Offensive Language, Religious Viewpoint, Unsuited to Age Group, Drugs, Suicide, Violence

• 8. “The Earth, My Butt, and Other Big, Round Things,” by Carolyn Mackler

  

  Reasons: Sexually Explicit, Offensive Language, Unsuited to Age Group.

• 9. “The Color Purple,” Alice Walker

  

  Reasons: Sexually Explicit, Offensive Language, Unsuited to Age Group.

• 10. “The Chocolate War,” by Robert Cormier

  

  Reasons: Nudity, Sexually Explicit, Offensive Language, Unsuited to Age Group. (Nudity in a paperback? Really?)

• I'm sorry, you didn't make the cut...

  

  Seven titles were dropped from the list, including: His Dark Materials Trilogy (Series) by Philip Pullman (Political Viewpoint, Religious Viewpoint, Violence); Scary Stories (Series) by Alvin Schwartz (Occult/Satanism, Religious Viewpoint, Violence); "Bless Me, Ultima" by Rudolfo Anaya (Occult/Satanism, Offensive Language, Religious Viewpoint, Sexually Explicit, Violence); Gossip Girl (Series) by Cecily von Ziegesar (Offensive Language, Sexually Explicit, Unsuited to Age Group); "Uncle Bobby’s Wedding" by Sarah S. Brannen (Homosexuality, Unsuited to Age Group); "The Kite Runner" by Khaled Hosseini (Offensive Language, Sexually Explicit, Unsuited to Age Group); and "Flashcards of My Life" by Charise Mericle Harper (Sexually Explicit, Unsuited to Age Group).