This was a great letter. Every parent should be so understanding. And yes, you can know someone is gay before they are sexually active. I knew I was gay before kindergarten. I wasn’t sexual at that age and didn’t really even think about it like that. I just knew I had an attraction to men and boys and didn’t care to be around girls. It only turned sexual for me when I reached puberty. No one would suggest that a six year old boy and a six year old girl were sexually active if they held hands at that age. Why would you think differently about gay kids? It’s only logical that there would be signs before either become sexually active. A good parent will pick up on that.