Going On Tour: Expectations Versus Reality

Sure, it’s fun…except when you have to carry your own equipment. posted on

1. EXPECTATION: Tour is a 24/7 PARTYZONE.

Between the shows and the after-parties, you’re tearing it up like crazy.

2. REALITY: You’ll be doing WAY more waiting around than actual shredding.

Waiting to get to the venue, waiting to load in, waiting to load out, waiting to soundcheck – you get the picture.

3. EXPECTATION: Fun and hijinks in the van!

PRANKS AND SING-ALONGS GALORE!

4. REALITY: Sleeping as much as you can before it’s your turn to drive.

You’re SO TIRED from staying out until three last night.

5. EXPECTATION: You and your bandmates are going to best-friend bond.

Well, this will be at least kind of true.

6. But also, REALITY: You get wayyyyy too close for comfort. Everything they do annoys you.

Like, why do they have to BREATHE that way?

7. EXPECTATION: Junk food all the time!!!!!!!!!!!!

Um, FRIES AND BURRITOS AND POTATO CHIPS, FOREVER? Yessssss.

8. REALITY: Junk food ALL. THE. TIME.

You’re two weeks in, you haven’t consumed any vegetables except for the lettuce that comes on burgers, and you feel like you’re about to actually die.

9. EXPECTATION: As much free alcohol as you can drink!

In between green rooms and drink tickets, you’re going to be practically swimming in whiskey.

10. REALITY: You are regularly and deathly hungover.

You wake up at 8 in order to be sick in a moving van for hours and hours. Sounds like fun, huh?

11. EXPECTATION: Interviews that allow you to speak about your individual passion for music.

Finally, a chance to express your love for the craft!

12. REALITY: Getting asked the same questions all the damn time.

You’re so tired of having to say who your “influences” are.

13. EXPECTATION: Being the coolest-looking person in the room. You’re in a BAND, after all!

Musicians are the flyest humans around, right?

14. REALITY: Getting dressed from your own merch table because you haven’t had the chance to do laundry in a month.

Well, not if they’ve been wearing the same socks for six days.

15. EXPECTATION: You’re surrounded by fans, friends, and groupies!

Everybody wants a piece of you!

16. REALITY: Having literally NO alone time. None.

Between the driving, the parties, the shared hotel rooms and apartment floors, and tour life in general, you’ll only have privacy in the bathroom. And maybe not even then.

17. EXPECTATION: And speaking of groupies…you’re going to be swimming in them, right?

YOW.

18. REALITY:

WRONG. Groupies are less common than you might think, and even if they do come around, you won’t have the time or privacy to do anything about it.

19. EXPECTATION: When all is said and done, you’ll have created incredible memories that will last you the rest of your life.

Tour stories = the best stories.

20. REALITY: Yeah, pretty much.

Now take a load off for a while! Or until the next record comes out, at least.

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