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Music

8 Valentine’s Day Gifts For Taylor Swift

Buck up, lil’ Taylor. Here are some presents to ease the pain of heartbreak.

Eric Henderson / Reuters

As everyone on Earth well knows, Taylor Swift is consistently (and very publicly) unlucky in love. But I think she gets a bad rap! Here are some Valentine’s Day gifts for our unfairly maligned pop princess based on her lyrics.

1. Problem: “Teardrops on My Guitar”


‘Cuz he’s the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who’s got enough of me to break my heart

Gift: Valentine’s Day Kleenex! Dry them eyes!

2. Problem: “Picture to Burn”


So watch me strike a match
On all my wasted time
As far as I’m concerned
You’re just another picture to burn

Solution: Heart-shaped lighter! I’ll bring the gasoline!

3. Problem: “Sad Beautiful Tragic”


Silence, the train runs off its tracks
Kiss me, try to fix it
Could you just try to listen?

Gift: Heartphones!

4. Problem: “Cold As You”


Every smile you fake is so condescending
Counting all the scars you made
And now that I’m sitting here thinking it through
I’ve never been anywhere cold as you

Gift: Cheer up, Taylor! Just warm up in this heart blanket!

You can even DIY it if you need to keep your mind off things for a while, Tay-Tay.

5. Problem: “Invisible”


And you just see right through me but if you only knew me
We could be a beautiful miracle, unbelievable
Instead of just invisible

Gift: Valentine-themed glasses! Now you can see clearly, Tay!

6. Problem: “Treacherous”


And I’ll do anything you say
If you say it with your hands
And I’d be smart to walk away, but you’re quicksand
This slope is treacherous
This path is reckless

Solution: Hang on, Taylor!!!!

7. Problem: “Come in with the Rain”

But I’ll leave my window open
‘Cause I’m too tired at night for all these games
Just know I’m right here hopin’
That you’ll come in with the rain

Gift: LOVEBRELLA!

8. Problem: “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together”


I remember when we broke up the first time
Saying this is it, I’ve had enough, ‘cause like
We haven’t seen each other in a month
When you, said you, needed space, what?

Happy Valentine’s Day, Taylor!

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