Oh, hello, didn’t see you there!
I was distracted by my own majestic eyelashes. You might know the feeling if…
1. You’ve used eyelash glue to fix an entirely non-cosmetic problem.
You’re kind of like MacGyver, except way more glamorous.
2. When people ask you, “Isn’t putting them on hard?!” you’re like *shrug.*
Putting on your lashes is second nature at this point. It feels like someone is asking you if it’s “hard” or “takes a lot of time” to tie your shoes or something.
3. You wink 73% more than your average human being.
And for good reason! Lashes elevate this move into a balletic one-eyed art form.
4. Your roommate has mistaken an errant lash strip for a spider on more than one occasion.
Sometimes these wind up in unfortunate places, like the bathroom floor, where one might understandably mistake them for an arachnid. Sorry!!! At least it wasn’t a real spider?
5. Your beauty motto is, “Go big or go home.”
You and your false eyelashes didn’t come here to play around!
6. You understand how dumb this sentiment is.
OK, so, let’s just review here: It’s superficial that I like my eyes to look a certain way, but if my purse isn’t up to snuff, I should be ashamed of that? How about, instead, we decide to be cool with people wearing and doing what makes them happy?
7. You don’t much care if they look “natural” or not.
If people don’t realize your eyelashes are fake, great! If they do? Also great! You’re happy with them either way.
8. You’ve learned to train your tear ducts to withstand even the saddest of movies.
MUST. NOT. CRY…
9. This is your face every year on October 30th.
You forgot to stock up before all the Halloweeners stormed the drugstore and cleaned out the eyelash section for their costumes! HALLOWEEN IS SCARY AFTER ALL.
10. This is an accurate depiction of your makeup kit.
Lashes on lashes on lashes on lashes, just the way you like it.
11. Your partner didn’t see you without them on for six months, at which point their face looked something like this.
“That’s what your face looks like?!”