1. Once upon a time there were two rappers named Chris Brown and Drake. They were pals.
2. Then, one day, a girl named Rihanna got between them.
3. Drake felt like the odd man out. THIRD WHEEL, IF YOU WILL.
4. Chris Brown dated Rihanna. He treated her like this, and so she decided she didn’t want to ride him like that anymore.
5. Drake did what any gentleman would do. He asked Rihanna out.
6. Rihanna felt like this when she was around Drake. So she let him stick around. For a little while.
7. Rihanna got bored with Drake and showed him the door.
8. Chris Brown and Drake are friends again. They look something like this, ‘memba?
9. Drake and Chris Brown remix each other’s songs.
10. Then it started getting tense between Drake and Chris Brown.
11. They didn’t want to play together anymore.
12. Chris Brown allegedly sends over a bottle of champagne to Drake in da club, W.i.P.. Drake is all:
13. That champagne bottle sends Drake and his entourage over like this:
14. Chris Brown’s entourage is all can’t nobody hold us down, oh no, we’ve got to keep on movin.’ They respond like this:
15. Big Pat (Brown’s bodyguard) dives like this in front a flying liquor bottle. It gashes his forehead open.
16. Chris Brown leaves da club ASAP to instagram his injury.
17. Meanwhile, Rihanna feels all like this. So she gets a tattoo of a falcon on her ankle. And instagrams it.
18. NYPD looks for clues. Shuts down da club, W.i.P..
19. Chris Brown hops on Twitter and rants about TMZ.
20. NYPD asks Drake to come in for questioning, and he’s all:
21. More people start coming forward with injuries and lawsuits all like this:
22. Lil Wayne decides to weigh in. Calls for truce.
23. Tony Parker serves papers to W.i.P. club.
Suing for $20M over eye injury sustained in the brawl.
24. Drake and Chris Brown offered $1M each to duke it out in the ring. LIKE THE BOXING RING.
TO BE CONTINUED…