Mediaite reports today that Fox News issued a statement indicating, they had, in fact, identified said mole in their Ivory Tower. However, moles are sneaky creatures by nature, and over at Gawker the Fox News mole indicates otherwise, “I am the Fox News Mole, and I’m Still Here.”
UPDATE: The Fox News mole unmasked. Flannel and all.
Well, we smoked out the mole on the Fox News website. Buried deep in the pixels of FoxNews.com, we found some “moles” squirreled away. Grab your hat, and take a ride down the Fox News mole hole!
1. Star-Nosed Mole
According to Fox News, the 22 pink appendages are touch organs used by the mole to identify its prey. Since the star-nosed mole is functionally blind, its nasal tentacles are ultra-sensitive, allowing the hamster-sized beast to identify and consume its prey in a matter of milliseconds.
2. Naked Mole Rat
The naked mole rat is on the Fox News website THREE TIMES, you guys. Here the little fella is featured in slideshow titled: Nature’s Horror Show: World’s Ugliest Creatures. I think Cher Horowitz said it best: “That’s way harsh, Tai.”
3. Mole Poblano
Obviously, this mole has nothing to do with mole the animal, but we have to give Fox News credit for adding some diversity to their news.
Oaxacan-style Chicken Tamales with Mole Poblano from Mexico Lindo.
4. Mole Lizard
Look, I hate to be the one to say it, but I think Fox News has it out for ugly creatures in nature. The Mole Lizard lives in a Fox News slideshow titled, Weird Creatures: A Menagerie of Oddities.
But then you find out the Mole Lizard is only found at the southern tip of the Mexico’s Baja peninsula, and you’re forced to applaud Fox News’s diversity initiatives. Kind of like the Hip Hop BBQ, right?
5. Naked Mole Rat
The naked mole rat is the only cold-blooded mammal, it is hairless, has horrible eyesight, and is even “cancer-resistant,”
They are even immune to the pain of irritation caused by acids and spicy foods.
6. Naked Mole Rats May Hold Clues to Science’s Mysteries
Nearly blind and hairless, the rodents resemble wrinkled spring rolls with tiny legs and buck teeth.
7. Moles on Skin
Sometimes a mole is right under your nose. Or on it, in this case.
8. To Catch a Mole
Fox News reports on the 30-year former school teacher who is wanted for producing child pornography. He replaces Osama Bin Laden on the FBI’s “Ten Most Wanted Fugitives” list.
Also, he has a mole under his left eye.
9. Eva Mendes has a mole
The Fox411 blog reports - HOLD UP - FOX411 BLOG?!? Someone call Mary J. Blige cause she wants her song back.
Let’s try that again. The Fox411 blog reports on the March 2012 issue of Marie Claire’s cover girl, Eva Mendes who did not like her mole when she was 13.
10. Czech Toy Industry Booms Thanks to a Mole
See? A mole could be, in the words of Martha Stewart, A GOOD THING.
Krek, the little stuffed mole, has even been to space! U.S. astronaut Andrew Feustel took a 7.5 inch stuffed version on the space shuttle Endeavour’s last mission.
Not to be confused with Whack-a-Mole, Mock-a-Mole, well, makes a mockery of good ol’ guacamole.
13. The Mole Defense
Second time a mole is associated with a child pornography case. I CAN’T.
If the mole doesn’t fit, you must acquit.
14. Sarah Jessica Parker Gets Trademark Mole Removed
This is the mole that launched ships. And by ships, we mean thousands and thousands of women moving to Manhattan to sip on martinis and brunch with non-existent gaggle of girlfriends.
17. Oh. Dear. A video search on Fox News for “moles,” and Trayvon Martin’s parents pop up first? AWK-WARD.
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