So THAT's why there's no bush where I planted them.

Thank you, Matt/Buzzfeed, for spotlighting my hometown! (A viral email incorrectly identifies the mise-en-scène as San Antonio. Make no mistake—that's the Lilac City.)

Yeah.

I'd hang that above my mantle if I were them. Think I'll hang it above my mantle anyway.

Basically: Don't feel guilty if you're obscenely rich—it's the will of G*d.