1. It’s Football!
Never, ever call it “soccer.” That’s an immediate red-card and three-game suspension.
2. Pick your fantasy team!
You do the math(s).
3. Call up your mates!
Bonus points if they’re British and speak to you from a red phone box.
Little known fact: like Mary Poppins, all Brits can travel via umbrella.
5. Get some snacks!
Jump in a Mini or TARDIS, your choice.