Maybe it was “clean coal” they spilled?

Yeah. Relax. The state will lay down a layer of their super absorbent rednecks and they'll soak it all up in a week or twol

This is a huge environmental disaster of epic proportions.
Really. There is no need to try to panic people, or to run around like Chicken Little. The risk is to people, not the environment. All of the “toxins” are natural (mainly mercury and arsenic). The Earth can handle this.  It will be cleaned up and everything will be OK.
Calm down.