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    Remember The Turtle At The Bottom Of The Stack

    Advice about friendship, in verse, presented by turtles and tortoises.

    Remember the turtle at the bottom of the stack.

    The one who carries you daily.

    And remembers your birthday

    And brings you booze

    And won't mind if you're not scaly.

    Be kind to the turtle at the bottom of the stack.

    The one who meets you for tea

    And will be your pillow

    And shares its snacks

    And from evil robots won't flee.

    Send love to the turtle at the bottom of the stack

    Who misses you most of all

    He's a little bit weird

    But always quite fun

    So he wonders why you won't call.

    Remember the turtle at the bottom of the stack

    The one who wears the rad sweater

    Who knows all the moves

    And loves to hang out

    Because you won't find a friend that is better.