1. Bringing Friends Who Don’t Work With You.
Seriously, unless everybody gets to bring a friend, you’ll stand out as the new kid that didn’t know better.
2. Treating The Bar Like Your Personal Liquor Cabinet.
Who doesn’t like a free drink or two? Just the same, keeping it classy will help you keep your job.
3. Sexy Dancing.
No matter how great a dancer you are, you’re only going to attract two things - the office creeper and his creepier office buddies.
5. Cornering The Boss To Share Your Big Ideas For The Company.
They may nod, smile, and even pretend to be riveted. Call it a professional courtesy. Just don’t forget that this is their holiday party too and it would be a lot cooler if you let them get back to having fun.
7. Beer Tears.
Emotions are a funny thing when intoxicated. If you feel Debbie Downer coming on, keep her to yourself. Step outside, take some deep breathes. Irish goodbye if you need to.
Honestly, if you disagree, do you boo boo. Just know there’s potential for a world of regret come sunrise.
9. Getting Confrontational.
News Flash - that coworker you hate is definitely going to be at the office party and you’re going to run into each other. Don’t let liquid courage fool you. Thinking Come At Me Bro is one thing, but actually doing something about it makes YOU the asshole.
10. Being The Drunkest Person There.
Note - this is a true story from Fox’s 2004 Upfront party at Boathouse in NYC.
The Incident: A girl who was apparently fresh out of college and relatively new to the media scene attended a Fox party where she proceeded to bring new meaning to the word shit-faced. She got absolutely hammered, fell down and cut her leg open, threw up, and then passed out on a white leather couch where she then shit herself. The girl had to be carted away by paramedics.
Read All About It:
12. Getting Weird.
Getting weird at your first holiday party is kind of presumptuous. Save it for next year’s party. You’ll know your audience a little better, ya know?
13. Hooking Up With Your Office Crush.
Not during the party. Not at the after party. Not after the after party. NopeNopeNope. Enough said.